Beating The Odds

Written by Monique Rider


Continued from page 1
to get unemployment or help from Social Services. We lived off of borrowed money or money from side jobs that he did. Our second daughter was born in 1986. I finally decided to go back to work, thinking it would help our financial situation. I found a job that paid very well and had excellent benefits. I felt maybe this wasrepparttar beginning of some stability for us. But four months laterrepparttar 131137 problems started again. Joe was again involved with drinking, drugs, and very unstable people. He was upset because I was working - so I ended up quitting my job, hoping to improverepparttar 131138 situation. It didn't help - he would go for days at a time without coming home. When he was home he could care less aboutrepparttar 131139 kids or me. I begged him to get help. He refused, saying he didn't know what was wrong but he had to work it out himself. Then I found out he was into drugs a lot heavier than I thought - he had shot up cocaine. Later, after questioning him, he admitted to having an affair. I was destroyed! He said it was still going on and he could not choose betweenrepparttar 131140 both of us. I left him a few weeks later, in 1987. The kids and I stayed with my parents. My daughters were 1 and 2 years old. I figured with a little time, he would straighten up and we could return. However, after two months I was still living with my parents and Joe and I were still not making any progress. My parents were getting very impatient with me. So, after some problems with them, I moved to my uncle's house. It took me still two more months before I decided I wanted a divorce. But within those two months my aunt and uncle taught me to drive and I found a job. It was my first step toward independence. The job didn't pay much and I didn't like it butrepparttar 131141 money helped. With some financial help from my sister I was able to retain an attorney, buy a used car and put a deposit down on an apartment. Joe was furious when he found out how independent I was becoming. He didn't wantrepparttar 131142 divorce and immediately started causing problems. He refused to pay child support, he began harassing me overrepparttar 131143 phone, and he began making kidnapping threats againstrepparttar 131144 girls. There was constantly someone watching my house or following me. The girls suffered most of all. They were confused aboutrepparttar 131145 divorce and their dad didn't help matters any. He was very uncooperative and was against everything I tried to do. He wouldn't cooperate with my lawyer orrepparttar 131146 court. The stress we were going through was beginning to affectrepparttar 131147 girls. They were having nightmares and behavioral problems, such as violent temper tantrums, screaming duringrepparttar 131148 night and severe separation anxiety. I was determined to get them into a more stable environment. I found a much better job. I soon moved out of our one - bedroom apartment and into a two-bedroom townhouse. Slowly I began to establish myself and we continued dealing withrepparttar 131149 everyday problems of life. There were work problems, babysitter problems, and at times I had trouble putting food onrepparttar 131150 table. Of course there were always lawyer and divorce problems too. But we seemed, somehow, to make it through everything. My daughters are now teenagers and they are strong girls. We've come a long way. It's all in your attitude and drive. I have found out so much about myself in these past years. I am interested in art, writing, reading, fitness, and nature. I have obtained a degree in business management and have become a certified personal trainer. I am now remarried and own my own business. So many doors have been opened for me. The possibilities now seem endless. I have learned that things happen for a reason and there are always blessings in adversity. But you have to takerepparttar 131151 first step and take control. It's scary but it can be done.

1991, revised 2001 By Monique Rider DEDICATED TO MY DAUGHTERS

Monique is a survivor of adversity! She believes there are blessings in our struggles. Monique is also the owner of Trinity Coaching Services, a company that provides personal development coaching services. In addition, Monique is a competitive bodybuilder, wife, mother, and published author. To learn more about Monique and personal coaching visit: http://home.talkcity.com/workoutpl/trinitycoachingservices/ or email Monique at: Monique_Rider@msn.com


Celebrating Triumph

Written by Monique Rider


Continued from page 1

and therefore have an insight far beyond my years. I am quick to analyze and get torepparttar

root of a problem, which allows me to be of great benefit to others.

My experiences with abuse have lead me to pursue volunteer work with abused women

and children. I have become an activist withinrepparttar 131135 community, speaking out against

violence. I am able to relate well to those in crisis and show deep concern regarding

emotional issues. I have also grown spiritually and feel a deep connection to my religion.

There is a desire to pursue a career in which I can help others grow and develop. The

pain has strengthened my soul and has given me coping skills that most do not have.

My self-esteem and confidence have grown. I feel a deep commitment to family and a

loyalty as a wife, mother and friend. I have an openness to self development, self

awareness and intuitiveness.

I truly believe that there is a reason for everything, including pain. I now try to keep a

positive focus duringrepparttar 131136 painful times of my life and I welcomerepparttar 131137 growth that follows.

My outlook is one of steadfast strength and faith. I have learned to also acceptrepparttar 131138

strength of others,repparttar 131139 strength of God, and to trust again. I have survived

abuse, one ofrepparttar 131140 most terrifying and traumatic childhood experiences. That knowledge

alone helps me realize that, as an adult, I can survive just about anything!!

By Monique Rider 2001

Monique is a survivor of adversity! She believes there are blessings in our struggles. Monique is also the owner of Trinity Coaching Services, a company that provides personal development coaching services. In addition, Monique is a competitive bodybuilder, wife, mother, and published author. To learn more about Monique and personal coaching visit: http://home.talkcity.com/workoutpl/trinitycoachingservices/ or email Monique at: Monique_Rider@msn.com


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