Think outside box. Get creative. Write down all solutions. Don’t eliminate possibilities for any reason, even if they are “way out” or sound crazy. This makes it fun!

4.Discuss each suggestion.

Give pros and cons. Put a check by possibilities. Cross out ones that are unrealistic or not acceptable to one of you. Consider whether two or three can be combined to make a better option. Be open to new ideas.

5.Choose an option that is acceptable to both of you.

Don’t say “yes” if you have reservations. You won’t follow through.

6.Set a date a week or two into future to sit down and discuss how this solution is working.

Practice solution during that time and note how it works.

7.Celebrate that your relationship is important enough to spend time to find a “win-win’ solution.

Now, forget your differences and have some fun!

2. Does your pastor strongly encourage all couples to participate in relationship skills training opportunities on an ongoing basis? Does s/he make available in your church, relationship skills classes such as PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) which teach communication and conflict resolution?

3. Does your pastor require a pre-marital inventory for every marriage performed in your church?

If not, why not? Only a valid inventory such as Prepare-Enrich or Focus-Refocus is effective. These have high validity and educate couples on areas of strength and weakness.

4. Do you have a Marriage Savers program in your church?

If not, why not? Marriage Savers www.marriagesavers.org is a church based program which utilizes trained mentor couples and includes programs for couples in every phase of marriage. These programs cut divorce rates and strengthen relationships.

5. Does your pastor refer couples considering divorce to Retrouvaille?

If not, why not? Retrouvaille www.retrouvaille.org has an 80% success rate in bringing couples back from brink.

If most of above are not present in your church, don’t waste precious time. Find a relationship skills building class (check www.smartmarriages.com), or find a marriage and family counselor, (preferably a member of American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy) or find a relationship coach, (with MFT training).

What are you waiting for? Strengthen your foundation and start building relationship you desire, today.