Be an Effective Communicator

Written by Charlotte Burton

Continued from page 1

Communication Part 2: Responding

The first thing to learn in this part is that you will find communication much easier if you are speaking inrepparttar same way (tone, tempo and rhythm) as your correspondent: if you usually speak fast, find someone who speaks slowly (or vice versa) and match their tempo when you are talking with them, and then measure how successful that conversation was in comparison to a conversation with them which was entirely on your natural tempo. Be sure you are matching all three (tone, tempo and rhythm) though as most people who say that this doesnít work are not matching all three correctly! Usually this sort of thing is natural: if youíve ever been torepparttar 135425 US, you may have noticed that you started ending sentences on an upward inflection automatically: not a typically British way of speaking. You just picked it up from others and naturally matched it. But if you are to be a highly successful communicator you need to be aware of what actually works rather than just stabbing inrepparttar 135426 dark and going with what comes out of your mouth without you thinking about it.

Use Positive Directions

The second thing that is most important to learn about responding to others is to use positive sentences - I donít mean being nice to people, although that is all torepparttar 135427 good, but by expressing your purpose in a specific way: "do this" rather than "do not do this". The brain works extra hard to createrepparttar 135428 representation ofrepparttar 135429 thing not to be done and superimposes some kind of negative - and in allrepparttar 135430 brain processing that happens afterwardsrepparttar 135431 negative frequently gets lost so leaving an extra strong impression ofrepparttar 135432 thing not to be done - without its negative. For example: if I were to say, "Do NOT think of a bright red cat", what are you thinking of? Most of you will honestly admit to having had some kind of representation of a red cat flash acrossrepparttar 135433 mind, furthermore this representation of a red cat will be something you remember more readily than something I say inrepparttar 135434 positive sense. Also, there isrepparttar 135435 whole contrary nature ofrepparttar 135436 mind to contend with: there is alwaysrepparttar 135437 fascination and compulsion with what we are told not to do, why else does negative psychology work so well with teenagers?

Take a Meta-View

The last important thing to learn about communication skills isrepparttar 135438 goal ofrepparttar 135439 communication: you must keep this in mind when entering into any communication for you to be able to measure itís success and thus moderate your future attempts to achieve your goals through communication. If your goal is to cheer up a friend, you will be able to tell if you have been successful by comparingrepparttar 135440 tone ofrepparttar 135441 friend atrepparttar 135442 beginning and atrepparttar 135443 end ofrepparttar 135444 conversation. Or if your goal is to build a relationship more solidly, then you can compare your correspondentís mood before and after each communication: andrepparttar 135445 attitude with which they receive you. If they are happy to see you allrepparttar 135446 better, but you can tell something is wrong if they are consistently displeased to see you. For positive proof you need several communications to base your conclusion on: there are other factors at work as well, such as your correspondentís internal mood state - which frequently has very little to do with you - take a "meta-view" stance and see whatrepparttar 135447 overall picture is before coming to any conclusions about your communication skills.

Charlotte Burton is a Licensed Career Coach & Psychometric Assessor. For more information and to sign up for the ezine, view the website at or email to request your complimentary consultation.

Legacy - the Power Within: Book Review

Written by C. Bailey-Lloyd/LadyCamelot

Continued from page 1

For more information aboutrepparttar author, Tony DeLiso, or his book, Legacy -repparttar 135315 Power Within, visit Power today.


© April 2005 - Legacy -repparttar 135316 Power Within: Book Review by C. Bailey-Lloyd/LadyCamelot Public Relations' Director & Staff Writer

C. Bailey-Lloyd/LadyCamelot Public Relations' Director & Staff Writer

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