Never feel guilty if your opinion is different from anothers. The biggest misery in life can be trying to' fit in' with another's dharma. Dharma is just another name for life path. A good example of this is storyline often seen in movies:

Child is miserable because mother/father wants him/her to follow in his/her footsteps. Never under-estimate how traumatic this can be. If something is not right for you and you're trying to make it fit then much pain can result...

Just think of 'ugly sisters' trying to fit into Cinderella's slipper!

So, if you're experiencing stress ask yourself:

"Am I being myself or am I trying to be what another would like me to be?"

The path to happiness is to be your true self. This in turn will make those around you happier because you will be also giving them 'permission' to be themselves.

So spread happiness by being true to yourself.

Enjoy!

Family Circle: And how do you do all that?

Dyer: You quiet your mind. On average, a person has 60,000 separate thoughts a day. We're thinking too much! As an ancient proverb says, "It's silence between notes that makes music." So get quiet. Meditate; go for a walk; listen to birds, ocean. Breathe in fresh air and allow your mind to let go.

Family Circle: can just hear workaholics saying they don't have time to do that.

Dyer: If you don't take time for being healthy, you'll eventually have to make time for being sick. You can meditate for two minutes at a red light. Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and clear your mind. The person behind you will let you know when your two minutes are up!

Family Circle: What are signs of inner peace?

Dyer: People who have a sense of peace tend to smile, feel compassion, and enjoy moment. They lose interest in conflict, and they don't worry!

Family Circle: You often say, "Stop worrying because there's nothing to worry about." How can that be?

Dyer: It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.

Family Circle: So next time you're tossing and turning in bed . . . ?

Dyer: My teacher in India always said, "First think of God, whatever God means to you. Think of universal force that allows an acorn to turn into an oak tree or a blossom to become an orange." The moment you bring spiritual energy to present, worry and anguish dissolve.

Family Circle: Other than yourself, do you know anyone who has mastered this?

Dyer: I don't know that I have! I've got eight kids and I struggle with same things most people do. I've dealt with marital problems and addictions. What I've learned is to remind myself that all I have is today. That helps me shift my attention to what's good and right.

Family Circle: You always say that forgiveness is a dramatic way to transform a life. Forgiving your father for abandoning his family was a turning point for you.

Dyer: After he died, I went to my father's grave and told him, I don't know what motivated you to run your life as you did, but I forgive you. Afterward I felt a deep sense of relief and peace. Forgiveness is transforming. I use metaphor of snake bite. It is not bit that kills you; it's venom. When you hold a grudge, poisons of anger and blame destroy you. Your heart weakens, your blood pressure rises, you get ulcers. It wrecks your health, makes you miserable.

Family Circle: And when you forgive . . .

Dyer: . . . miracles begin to appear in your life because forgiveness heals. It's core of every great spiritual teaching - from Jesus and Buddha to Gandhi and Mother Teresa.

Family Circle: You also recommend art of detachment, calling it "one of life's great lessons." What do you mean?

Dyer: I mean detach from opinions of others; from habit of judging or controlling others; from past; from need to be right and to win; from an obsession with material things. Follow your passion in life, but detach from outcome and allow universe to handle details.

Family Circle: So, as we usher in 2003, what would you say is key to achieving happiness?

Dyer: When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on floor. It's to enjoy each step along way. That's what life is. There's no way to happiness. Happiness is way. It's what you bring to life.

*Excerpted from Family Circle/January 14, 2003 issue

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, affectionately called the "father of motivation" by his fans, is one of the most widely known and respected people in the field of self-empowerment.