Artemis, Goddess of Hunt, is archetype of female athlete. In every way, she was equal of her brother, Apollo. Artemis has returned as a useful archetype for women today, thanks to popularity of women's athletics. Women now have role models and opportunities to explore their physical strength, and test and improve their skills through competitive sports.

We have always measured "masculinity" based on strength, power, and skill, but these qualities are as present in women as they are in men. Women were supposed to be delicate flowers who needed men to protect them. The truth, however, is that while men may have edge over women in terms of brute strength, that women often surpass men in skill and dexterity. Once we take biology and reproduction out of equation, men and women are very evenly matched. So what then, are truly "masculine" and "feminine" qualities? The masculine principle is focused, expressive, and direct. The feminine principle is diffuse, intuitive, and receptive. The feminine principle provides container to support masculine energy. Masculine energy expands, and feminine energy contracts. Any action can be "masculine" or "feminine" in nature, depending on how it is applied. Warrior energy on its own is neither masculine nor feminine. It becomes masculine when we attack in order to expand our borders; it becomes feminine when we fight to defend and protect our tribe from invasion.

It's true that men tend to be more in touch with more "masculine" or yang aspects, while women tend to be more in touch with more "feminine" or yin aspects. But not being aware of or familiar with our complimentary nature doesn't mean that we can't learn about it and express it. This, in fact, is reason that men and women form relationships with each other. Our partners are our mirrors, and when men and women relate to each other--whether that relationship is sexual or not--what we see reflected is our complimentary nature. We see parts of ourselves that we haven't integrated or owned yet. And through our relationships with opposite gender, we learn how to connect with and own these parts of ourselves, and experience true balance. We need to learn to acknowledge, accept and embrace these two complimentary natures. We each have both Mars and Venus within us, and we need to learn how to appreciate and express them both.

MEETING OTHER PEOPLE'S SAFETY NEEDS Meeting other people's safety needs is often a tricky proposition. In our intimate relationships, it's appropriate for us to explore emotional connections with our partners. We can look for ways to nurture and protect our partners, and expect our partners to nurture and protect us. It's rarely appropriate to do this in professional or casual relationships, however. Unless we share an intimate personal connection with someone, it's difficult to meet his or her safety needs directly. The most we can do is to avoid making them feel unsafe. We do this by respecting their boundaries.

Other people's boundaries are not always easy to recognize, however. Sometimes only way we can recognize a boundary is by inadvertently crossing it and making our partner feel unsafe. Often, our partners didn't even realize that they had this particular boundary until we crossed it. Once we've become aware of boundary, however, we can own it. We can step back, and take responsibility for crossing boundary. And we can choose to respect that boundary from this point on. We are now both aware of this particular boundary, but more importantly, we are both aware that boundary will be respected. The boundary is now stronger, and our partner is now able to feel more safe. So how can you tell if you've crossed a boundary that not even your partner knew existed in first place? Body language is best indication that you may have stepped over a line and made someone feel unsafe. When we feel unsafe, we adjust our bodies to protect ourselves. We may:

--Cross our arms in front of our chests. --Lean forward and drop our heads (breaking eye contact). --Round our shoulders (expressing desire to curl up into a ball to protect ourselves). --Clench our teeth and tighten our jaw. --Stop responding to our partner and disengage from conversation. --Change our tone of voice and become more defensive. --Raise our voices. --Speak more emphatically.

If you notice any of these behaviors in your partner, you have crossed a line and made your partner feel unsafe. And if you notice any of these behaviors in yourself, then you're feeling unsafe because your partner has crossed one of your boundaries.

In any event, whether you're feeling unsafe or you've made your partner feel unsafe, what you need to create is some space to defuse threat.

--If it's possible and appropriate to move away from your partner by taking a step back, or moving your chair. --Change your body position so that you're leaning away from your partner. --Take a few deep breaths, and return your awareness to present moment. --Check your voice and body language. (The louder and more rapidly we speak, more aggressive we appear.) --Slow down, and shift your body into a neutral and receptive posture. --Uncross your arms and leave front of your body open and unprotected. (This makes you vulnerable and demonstrates that you are not a threat.)

If you've made someone feel unsafe through your choice of words or subject matter, it's important that you not pursue that particular subject. If appropriate, you can acknowledge that you may have inadvertently become too personal, and apologize. Remember, when we recognize and take responsibility for crossing a boundary, we make our partners feel safe.