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The only redeeming aspect of this incident was simple fact that Gracious Mistress of Parsonage was not home at time. I say "simple fact," but truth of matter is it is much more complicated.
My first job was to extricate myself from mess. Secondly, I had to pick up everything before my wife got home.
As it turned out, that was easier part of my job. The most difficult, and I admit it, was trying to fix my easy chair. It turned out to be broken in places that completely and absolutely confounded me.
Several months before this my wife insisted I throw out this antiquated easy chair and get a new one. Looking back now I see it was a foolish thing to do n but then I laughed at her and told her in no uncertain terms that this easy chair was in perfect condition. She just looked at me, shook her head and walked away.
With panic as incentive, I gathered up pieces of what used to be my easy chair and tried to figure how to put it all back together. I went to garage, got some tools, a roll of wire and several rolls of duct tape. Working at speed of a husband in trouble I managed to put chair back in what I thought was good shape.
Sighing a sigh of relief, I carefully tested out chair. Much to my pleasure and delight, it cradled me as afore. Leaning back in my chair, I could not believe I had pulled one over on my Better Half. Nothing matches an easy chair properly broken in.
Later that evening my wife and I were sitting together watching television. Out of blue, she brought up subject of my chair. "Don't you think," she reflected in one of those wifely moods, "you should replace that old chair of yours?"
"Ha!" I said with confidence of a fox who got away with a plump chicken. "This chair has a few more good years left in it."
Just then I heard a familiar sound.
Everything collapsed, and as I went free falling my whole life passed before my eyes. Looking up into smiling eyes of my wife, she simply said, "My, how time flies."
The whole incident reminded me of a verse in Bible. "Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (1 Corinthians 10:12-13 KJV.)
Rev. James L. Snyder, is an award winning author and popular columnist living in Ocala, FL with his wife Martha.