As your kids get older, try to interest them in trip itself. When we traveled from San Diego to Sacramento as kids, a 500 mile trip, my mother used to draw a rough map on window using a wax pencil, and number 1-10 along it, so that she could tell us where we were. We loved asking where we were. Find out if there are any interesting places to stop along way for short periods.

Personally, I don't like idea of bringing a DVD player and just having kids watch movies for entire drive, but that is certainly one option. There are plenty of games that can be played in car, from challenging each other to spot a landmark or item to board or card games. Don't try to use anything that will spill or has too many small pieces, or you might cause more aggravation when something is lost.

No matter age of your children, you should keep your schedule as flexible as possible and try to enjoy trip. Holiday trips should be a good experience for all involved.

You’ll know that your inner brat has taken over when you start getting angry at slightest provocation, or when you complain about things not being fair. You’ll also recognize its presence when you eat, drink or smoke more than you you know is good for you.

For example, when your mother asks, “Why haven’t you called your grandmother?” your inner brat might snap back, “Why are you always picking on me?! Why don’t you ever ask my brother why he doesn’t call Grandma?” Or, when you’ve resolved to control your drinking over holidays, you end up downing a quart of spiked egg nog, with your inner brat in background rationalizing that it’s OK because alcohol is diluted.

If you want to stay calm and have more fun with your family this holiday season, keep your inner brat under control. Here are some tips:

1. Check your expectations: If you begin grumbling to yourself about various family members weeks before get-together, you’re giving your inner brat a head start. By time event actually happens, you will be full of old resentments and anxieties. On other hand, if you tell yourself that you are voluntarily attending this event, and that it may not be perfect but at least it’s time-limited, you will be more relaxed.

2. Prior to visiting your family, practice some simple relaxation skills such as slow, deep breathing or pleasant visualization. If you find yourself getting tense at event, take a short time-out to relax and get yourself centered again.

3. When family members act idiotic, mean or critical toward you, remind yourself that such behavior reveals more about them than about you. The very behavior that irks you is probably coming from their inner brats.

4. Mentally detach yourself from conflict. Imagine that this is a movie of your family and that you are watching it on a big screen. This will keep your inner brat out of conflict.

5. Use humorous exaggeration. For example, say to yourself, “This moment is absolute worst thing that ever happened to anybody.” By noting absurdity of your statement, you’ll see things in a more realistic perspective.

6. Don’t give into your inner brat’s demands for more food or alcohol. Just because it wants it doesn’t mean it MUST have it. Remember, you’re in charge, not your inner brat.

© 2003 Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.