Continued from page 1
Use motivation by tying it in to something specific, something concrete that they can understand and feels real. Find something that they are interested in and see if you can link it to what they need to do. Sometimes you can then use
concept of needing to do something you don't want now so that you can achieve this specific thing that you do want later.
Bribery/reward Some parents will resort to a form of bribery or reward as a motivator; I will give you a certain amount of money for each exam in which you achieve a specific grade or something similar.Unfortunately using a reward system in this way is often doomed to failure. The outcome is just too far away in time to be an effective motivator; teens need a more immediate way in which to receive a reward.
Consequently it's much better to reward them for working hard part, rather than just outcome. Set up a system that rewards them for amount of time they spend studying. Ensure you agree on how system works or your teen will just refuse to take part.
Ensure also that you have a way of checking that they are in fact studying and not just pretending. Let them know that this is part of agreement and then spend time asking them about what they've studied. You don't need to do this every time, just enough for them to realise that you will check.
Control Many parents attempt to force their teen to work by using a form of control; you will only go out when you've studied for 3 hours.Unfortunately this process rarely achieves anything positive, as old saying goes 'you can force a horse to water but you can't make it drink'. Similarly you can force your teen to sit with their books but you can't force them to take in knowledge.
The main result of this process is a deteriation in parent teen relationship and negative feelings in all concerned.
A form of control can be used successfully, one whereby you and your teen form an agreement about how they are going to study. This can be set up similar to reward system above, but in this case you would also set up consequences if your teen fails to keep to agreement.
Great care needs taking in using any of these methods. Understanding what's really stopping your teen from working is key to success or failure or your attempts.
If at heart of problem your teen rejects whole academic system then there is little that you can do to get your teen studying. And that means using a whole new approach entirely.
Carol Shepley has been involved with teenagers for over 10 years and, as the parent of a teen herself, fully understands the pressures placed on parents and teens today. She now shares this knowledge and experience through her website www.GrowingUpMatters.com so that parents can help their teens become resilient, resourceful and responsible adults.
