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In addition, Barbara believed that if she was vigilant enough and thought through all bad things that could happen, she could prevent them. She believed that by thinking ahead, she could somehow have control over outcome of things.
Finally, Barbara also believed that she could control how people felt about her by acting right and saying right thing. She was constantly vigilant about her behavior with others in her attempts to control how they felt about her and treated her.
However, in trying to control her feelings, others’ feelings and outcome of things, Barbara may have been causing her illness. The underlying cause of her negative thinking was her devotion to this control.
The problem with all of this is that it is based on an illusion – illusion of control. The fact is that Barbara could not foresee every event that could cause her some pain. She was devastated every time something happened that she had not thought of beforehand. How could something painful come out of blue like that? How could she have not foreseen it?
The paradox of all of this is that, in trying to foresee future catastrophes, Barbara was not present in moment. Real safety is in being present in moment so we can respond appropriately to whatever is happening in moment. When we are fully present in moment, we are available to receiving information from our inner Guidance. All of us have a Source of Guidance that is always available to us, and that is here to help us and protect us. But we can access our Guidance only when we are fully present in moment, not when we are trying to control future.
Barbara is in process of becoming more aware of her negative thinking. She is not yet healthy, but she has some better days now, days that are lighter and more fun.
Moving out of negative thinking is a process that takes time. If you are a negative thinker, you have been practicing this form of thinking your whole life. It is not going to stop in a day. But if you tune into stress you feel and learn to connect your stress with your negative thinking, you can slowly change this pattern.
Vitality and joy can be result of letting go of your negative thinking and learning to be present in moment.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.