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How do you see yourself? How do others see you? Remember you present different selves: at work with family with friends in gatherings with acquaintances
If your answers tell you that you have difficulty accepting and liking yourself, or if others frequently respond negatively to you in your interactions with them, then this is an area you should begin work on. Self-love is at
foundation of all healthy relationships.
3. Are your past relationships really in past?
If we don't get adequate closure on painful experiences/issues from past relationships, we are at risk of bringing them into present and future relationships in order to relive and resolve them.
Therefore, it's important to know that you have dealt adequately with any significant hurt or loss and have learned from any dysfunctional dynamics you may have contributed to.
If you find yourself slipping into unhealthy patterns in your thoughts or Behaviors as they relate to others; stop, identify, and then deal with that leftover issue.
4. Do you know what you want from a relationship?
We enter into relationships for many different reasons and with many different expectations. Knowing what yours are will help you to determine if this is right relationship for you.
Too often we "choose" someone using an unconscious level of thought as our primary input. It is there that we hold our deepest unmet needs, fears and desires. Unfortunately, there is often a chasm between our conscious and unconscious selves that keeps this information "hidden" from our rational and thinking side.
Therefore, it is very important to examine all of your feeling and needs regarding any future relationship. Honestly look at what you must have and cannot live without.
You must know what you want and need from a future partner in order to choose right one for you.
Now, spend some time exploring these four important areas before you enter into a serious romantic relationship. By doing so, you will be helping to ensure that your new relationship will be a healthy and lasting one.
Toni Coleman is a relationship coach in Virginia. She specializes in working with singles wanting lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship and coaching. She is the founder and President of Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She has written numerous email classes and holds teleclasses for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly.
