Jennifer had lunch with her friend Sally at a quaint restaurant. Jennifer could barley wait to share details about her affair with this young stud. Sally listened in awe as Jennifer blamed her so-called inattentive husband, Paul. It was a strange twist of fate that Paul sat behind flower-decorated lattice wall listening to every word his wife said. From here on life took a different turn. Jennifer had deceived her husband Paul and lost respect of Sally. This is a high price to pay for moments of sex.

In our quest for better relationships, we must make our relationship a priority. We must focus on our relationship not elsewhere.

Authenticity: True love only happens when you are real

Have you ever found yourself laughing simply because everyone else did? Agreed with your partner’s opinion even though you didn’t share it or said: “I love you” when you didn’t mean it. Did you ever do something inconsistent with your true self just to please someone or to get what you wanted? Of course we all have. We have lost bravery to be real!

For many there is quite a gap between inside and person they present to world. How about Toni, dad who rents a Porsche to impress his date, while being delinquent in child support. Debby spends every Sunday at Grant’s parents but resents it. To keep peace, she refrains from claiming some of these Sundays on her terms.

To be validated we often compromise who we are. Conditioned by our environment we have become products of culture we live in. No matter how good we are at playing roles eventually our truth emerges. Being fit to love means being real. When we are authentic our relationships become real and we never have to doubt them.

Regardless of state of our relationships or how unsuccessfully we have tried to find love we have power to radically change today. Mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity are key to exceptional relationships. People in exceptional relationships are fit to love and in process they reap some profound rewards:

·They live much happier lives ·They cope far better with stress ·They have better sex more often ·They laugh more often and have more fun ·They are healthier and live longer ·They are more optimistic ·They feel more secure and stable

No wonder we envy these people. In times like these, laced with tremendous uncertainty their relationships are like rock-solid anchors. Mahatma Gandhi said: “A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is prerogative of brave”. Let’s be brave!

© 2005 Allie Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are You Fit To Love? Her book has received the honorable mention at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters. To order her book or take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website www.fit2love.com. For Free Relationship/Dating Advice e-mail: askallie@fit2love.com

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