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Whatever case may have been in hunting-and-gathering societies of past, today we are all hunting for same things. Men and women alike are hunting for love, happiness, validation and prosperity, and are gathering whatever they feel is necessary to achieve this. Now, more than at any other time, men and women need each other in pursuit of these common goals.
Do we really think that investing in gender stereotyping encourages successful relationships? Today, both sexes seek to be loved and accepted, instead of being labeled. Do we really think that lovers connect, because they have figured out their gender differences? Love flourishes when both move beyond gender differences and rejoice in their commonalities. True love is based on mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity all of which promote human potential of both sexes and allow for interaction without judgment.
Men and women are indeed living as if they are from different planets and often do not connect intimately as human beings. Gender differences have been analyzed to death, and we may never be able to understand a man or woman. However, we will always be able to understand and respect a human being once we realize that we are all human beings first and men or women second. Inside each of us, men and women alike, lies a vulnerable soul, desire to love and be loved, need to be validated, respected and to feel important. Regardless of gender, deep down we all have a fragile ego that often feels inferior. Recognizing that both sexes have many of same vulnerabilities and strengths is key to men and women relating to one another on a human level.
We need to free each other from gender roles that society has cast upon us and start focusing on ties that bind us. The commonalities between men and women are so much greater than their differences. As we change our attitudes towards each other, we will be able to relate to one another on common ground. Lasting love is only possible when we appreciate that our focus on gender differences has been of great disservice. For any relationship to become a stable and lasting anchor in our lives, we must learn to give up our pride and unrealistic expectations of each other. If we are to find true love in this misunderstood world of males and females, we must stop trying to figure out opposite gender and focus on human being inside.
© 2005 Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert, Coach, Speaker and the Author of “Are You Fit To Love?” ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in numerous magazines and newsletters. She has appeared on radio and TV. To order her book or to take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website at www.fit2love.com. For FREE relationship/dating advice e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org