Anger and the American Family: 3 Steps to Diffuse Family by Changing Your Inner Conversations

Written by Dr. Tony Fiore

Continued from page 1

Jack who became offended at being congratulated for overcoming his past, was actually havingrepparttar following conversation in his head: he is putting me down because I had alcoholic parents; he is saying I am not capable of being successful on my own instead of 'overcoming' something in my past; he is mocking me because of how I grew up.

No wonder he became so upset at Jim’s innocent attempt at a compliment. Like many of us, Jack was responding to his perspective of what was being communicated—not Jim’s.

Changing your self-talk

The next time anger threatens to spoil a family event, try these simple steps:

Step 1: Retreat and think things over. Never respond immediately to a family anger or stress trigger. Give your body and your mind a chance to calm down so you can think rationally. Research shows this may take at least 20 minutes.

Step 2: Examinerepparttar 149203 evidence. The most convincing way of disputing negative self-talk toward a family member is to show yourself it is factually incorrect. Do not lie to yourself, but—like a detective —simply and honestly look at allrepparttar 149204 evidence at hand.

For instance, when calm Tom remembered that his wife was excellent with money and rarely overspent. Jack remembered that Jim never disparaged him and, in fact, had always supported him throughoutrepparttar 149205 years of their friendship.

Step 3: Find a more positive and useful way of interpretingrepparttar 149206 behavior of family members. Tom was finally able to see his wife’s buying behavior as a sign of love and caring for him, rather than trying to hurt him or cause stress.

Jack was eventually capable of seeing that Jim was truly trying to compliment him and that he truly saw Jack as someone to be admired because of how far he had come in life.

Dr. Tony Fiore is The Anger Coach. New anger resources are now available Anger Management for the 21st Century: The 8 tools of Anger Control print and ebook,bonuses Chëck our Anger in the News blog and comment at: 2005 © Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.

Is Coaching Everything That It Is Cracked Up To Be?

Written by Allie Ochs

Continued from page 1

Singles: ·Find out who you are ·How to ignore most dating advice ·How to be authentic ·How to challenged yourself ·How to avoidrepparttar dating traps ·How to stop dating by default ·How to focus your energy on your goals ·How to makerepparttar 149202 right choices ·How to date as a single parent ·How to prevent getting hurt ·How to create intimacy ·How to overcome insecurity ·How to trust your instinct

Couples: ·How to prevent relationship pitfalls ·How to manage anger or resentment ·How to focus onrepparttar 149203 positive ·How to say what you mean ·How to trust yourself ·How to ask for what you need ·How to stop beingrepparttar 149204 victim ·How to develop respect ·How to negotiate ·How to create a secure relationship ·How to create authentic intimacy ·How to built trust ·How to love without losing yourself

A good dating coach focuses on how your dating pattern spills over to every area of your life. A good relationship coach explores how your relationship defines you and influences all aspects in your life. A coach is able to uncover sabotaging behaviour and misconceptions. He or she is able to connectrepparttar 149205 dots without being judgmental. Your coach becomes a mentor who helps you to take action towards a fulfilling relationship. Based on his expertise, knowledge and passion he opens possibilities you never thought possible. Relationship coaching is for you:

·If you value yourself and your relationship ·If you want to radically improve all your relationships ·If you want to escape pain and frustration ·If you want to gainrepparttar 149206 confidence to date ·If you are open to learn new skills ·If you are committed to your own success

Coaching has helped thousand successfully find love or dramatically improve existing relationships. It will also help you! When choosing a coach, check his experience, credentials and ethics. Evaluate his passion and most importantly, trust your gut feeling. Coaching should be fun and productive; make sure you really like your coach! Isn’t it time you took care of our relationships?

© 2005 Allie Ochs, Relationship Expert, Coach, Speaker and the Author of “Are You Fit To Love?” ISBN 0-9720227-9-1. Her articles are published in numerous magazines and newsletters. She has appeared on radio and TV. To order her book or to take the Fit 2 Love! Test visit her website at For FREE relationship/dating advice e-mail:

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