-I can stay calm; he might be a dangerous threat to me.

-I’m sure it is not personal; he is cutting me off because he is stressed and in a hurry.

-I’m not going to radiate and stoop to his or her level; there are many reasons for his or her behavior; maybe he just phoned his boss who said he would get fired if not in office in next ten minutes or he may be reacting to family responsibilities.

Benefits of your new perspective:

-Increased tolerance and more understanding of possible reasons for other driver’s bad behavior.

-Resolve not to make his or her problems your problem. (Remember: it doesn’t have to be!)

-Understand that getting even to right wrong of another driver is not justified or rational.

-Remember that maintaining a hostile attitude on road is harmful to society – innocent drivers, their families and their loved ones.

Example 2: Slow driver:

You are late to an appointment but stuck behind a gray-haired lady going 15 miles an hour below speed limit. Your automatic thoughts: ‘Why does this always happen to me? She is doing this to make me late. Why can’t she get out of my way? How inconsiderate she is! She shouldn’t have a driver’s license.’

Self-talk options:

-She is not driving slowly to make me late; she probably isn’t even aware of me.

-Maybe she is old and impaired and doing best she can.

-Perhaps she just came from doctor’s office with bad news and is on verge of tears.

-I can’t control how fast she drives so why get upset?

Angry feelings are a normal response to driving frustrations. Unfortunately, our ‘automatic thoughts’ may increase these feelings and cause us to lose control.

Learning different ‘self-talk’ gives us a powerful tool to control our negative emotions on road so we can avoid death, serious injury or legal problems.

What this means is that despite their self- confessed aggressiveness, 2 out of 3 drivers still insist on seeing themselves as near perfect with almost no room to improve.

These drivers see ‘the other guy’ as problem and thus do not look at their own aggressive driving behavior.

What causes aggressive driving behavior? While there is no one standard definition for aggressive driving, many psychologists see anger as root cause of problem. Regardless of provocation or circumstances related to problems on road, it is ultimately our emotional state, our stress levels and our thinking patterns that either cause us to drive aggressively or lead us to be victims of others.

In short, many of us get in trouble because we are driving under influence of impaired emotions, especially anger.

Like drunk driving, aggressive driving is more than a simple action or carelessness; it is a behavioral choice that drivers make.

It is normal and natural to feel angry when certain events frustrate us on road. But, how do you deal with these angry feelings to cope with situation more effectively?

Here are two ways to cope with impaired driving emotions. Research clearly shows that reducing stress and changing your self-talk can help you cope.

1.Reduce your stress. Driving is emotionally challenging because unexpected things happen constantly with which we must cope. We often drive under pressure of time, or pressure of congestion and delays which add to our general stress level.

Suggestions include listening to relaxing music or educational tapes on road, leaving 15 minutes sooner and getting up earlier so you are less rushed.

2.Change your perspective with different self-talk. Learn to view situation differently. Specific skills to do this will be outlined in Part 2 of this series.