When blaming anger comes up, healthy option is neither to dump it on another in an attempt to control them, nor to squash and repress it. The healthy option is to learn from it.

Our anger at another person or situation has much to teach us regarding personal responsibility for our own feelings and needs. As part of Inner Bonding process that we teach (see our free course at www.innerbonding.com), we offer a three-part anger process that moves you out of feeling like a frustrated victim and into a sense of personal power.

THE ANGER PROCESS

The Anger Process is a powerful way to release anger, as well as to learn from source of anger.

Releasing your anger will work only when your intent in releasing it is to learn about what you are doing that is causing your angry feelings. If you just want to use your anger to blame, control and justify your position, you will stay stuck in your anger. This three-part anger process moves you out of victim-mode and into open-heartedness.

1. Imagine that person you are angry at is sitting in front of you. Let your angry wounded child or adolescent self yell at him or her, saying in detail everything you wish you could actually say. Unleash your anger, pain and resentment until you have nothing more to say. You can scream and cry, pound a pillow, roll up a towel and beat bed. (The reason you don't tell person directly is because this kind of cathartic, no-holds-barred "anger dump" would be abusive to them.)

2. Now ask yourself who this person reminds you of in your past - your mother or father, a grandparent, a sibling? (It may be same person. That is, you may be mad at your father now, and he is acting just like he did when you were little.) Now let your wounded self yell at person from past as thoroughly and energetically as in part one.

3. Finally, come back into present and let your angry wounded self do same thing with you expressing your anger, pain and resentment toward your adult self for your part in situation or for treating yourself way people in parts one and two treated you. This brings problem home to personal responsibility, opening door to exploring your own behavior.

By doing anger process instead of trying to control others with your anger, you de-escalate your frustration while learning about real issue – how you are not taking care of yourself in face of whatever another is doing or in face of a difficult situation.

Whenever anger comes up, you always have choice to control or to learn.

Both documents are signed in front of two witnesses and a notary public or a justice of peace who acknowledges client's signature. The witnesses to a Living Will are sworn by notary public/justice of peace and indicate that client is at least 18 years of age and signed instrument as a free and voluntary act.

The Living Will witnesses may not be client's spouse, attending physician, heirs-at-law or person with claims against client's estate. The Health Care Power of Attorney witnesses may not be designated agent, client, spouse or heir or person entitled to any portion of client's estate upon death under Will, Trust or operation of law.

People are frequently confused as to why both a Living Will and Health Care Power of Attorney are necessary or appropriate.

The Living Will is helpful as a backup document: In event that client enters an irreversible coma and health care agents designated in Health Care Power of Attorney are deceased or unloadable, Living Will sets forth desires of client concerning his/her death-bed treatment which may be followed by attending physicians. The law provides that to extent that a Durable Power of Attorney conflicts with a Living Will, Health Care Power of Attorney controls.

Copies of both Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care and Living Will are forwarded to client's primary care physician for inclusion in medical records.

Both documents are revocable through normal revocation procedures.