I was letting myself become a “quitter”. And it was because of a simple fact: I was letting negativity enter my thoughts. I was letting them permeate and grow. I was encouraging myself to take easy way out.

As I pushed myself and tried to move on, I started thinking about this. The funny thing was that, after a while, I realised that when I wasn’t paying that much attention to my run –it was actually getting easier! Meanwhile, I came up with this line that described realisation that I just had:

"In life, if you give yourself a concession, you'd take it."

If you focus on doing something, and keep telling yourself that you can do it, you'd more likely than not succeed. If you let even just a wee bit of doubt creep in, you'll soon start to be complacent and you'll take whatever easy way out your mind's offering you.

Case Study 1: The Runner

You are running your third round on running track. You intend to complete six rounds, your normal distance. You feel great still. You push yourself, telling yourself that you can do it, that you can beat your previous time. But suddenly, you start to think about why this is so important to you. It's like a floodgate's been open from this point onwards. You no longer tell yourself that you can do it, but ask yourself why you should do it. You begin to slow down. You are more observant of pain in your legs and difficulty you have breathing. Soon, you even start to harbour thoughts of cutting your run down to only five rounds, because "what's one round less".

Case Study 2: The Student

You are three days away from your exam. You have your book out in front of you, and you have to study a total of nine chapters. You've completed two chapters, and you intend to finish at least five at end of day. You know you have determination to do so, and you begin reading through chapter three. After five pages, your mind starts to wander. You start pondering. You think about how tired you are, and you soon convince yourself that it's true. You yawn. You think about how long three days is, and figure that it's too much time for just seven chapters. You start wondering why you are studying so soon. Your eyes begin to feel heavy. You are tired. You decide to take a nap, and go to sleep for two hours, and you do so.

That's why I think letting yourself even think of a concession is dangerous. If you are really intent on doing something, you shouldn't be thinking of anything else. When you start to let your mind drift and think about easy way out, you immediately start losing your determination, drastically. I think best way to overcome this is by instantly stop, and remind yourself of your true goals and objectives.

This incident clearly demonstrates concise perceptual differences between males and females. I have heard women tell me, `...he doesn't understand me,' or `...he's not listening to me...' And men, will rebuke, `...I don't know what you're talking about.' It's not that men don't listen to women - it's fact that they are not hearing precisely what is being said; or perhaps they do not adequately comprehend meaning behind words.

Additionally, because women are very interactive creatures, conversation may be invoked while men are actively engaged in a specific event, work or other project. When men are actively doing something, they are often so concentrated with their project that they simply do not hear a word. Women, however, may falsely perceive this inaction as disregarded communication. And then it's back to square one - `...why is he ignoring me?"

To find resolve in relationships, both men and women have to realize that while we all must communicate for progressive action, it is also essential to understand that women and men clearly think in different terms at different times. Before we jump gun, and imagine worst of our human counterparts, we must think about what was said, and in what manner it was said as well. Tone of voice plays a vital role in determining our various forms of communication and interaction with one another. If we do not practice, or we are not perceptive to tone of dialogue, as well as words themselves, then it will obviously be mistaken for a complete different communication altogether. In addition, when individuals do not automatically respond or don't hear others, it does not necessarily mean that individual is being disrespectful or rejecting.

Because we are only all too human, we have to accept that people make verbal and non-verbal mistakes that may or may not create tension in a relationship. If we begin to understand this is part of human nature, realize that we speak in different context, and comprehend that silence is not always a form of rejection, maybe then, both men and women will be able to reach each other on a positive level of interaction.

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© 4/2005 Are Men and Women Really from Different Planets? By C. Bailey-Lloyd Aka. LadyCamelot Public Relations' Director & Staff Writer www.holisticjunction.com www.mediapositiveradio.com

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Disclaimer: Information provided by HolisticJunction.com is intended for educational purposes only and should not substitute advice provided by a licensed health professional.