All I Want for Christmas is My Son Back

Written by Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach


Continued from page 1

The time I listened to a psychologist friend of mine talk of his exhaustion from “allrepparttar people who need to be heard this time of year”.

The worst Christmas Eve? There wasn’t one. They were all good in their own way. The best Christmas Eve? All of them, and this one coming up! One in particular though, a lesson in ‘you never know.’ The best adult Christmas Eve – my second and last date with a man named Chris, but it turned out we had exactlyrepparttar 111494 same idea of how Christmas Eve should be and we accomplished it together. Sometimesrepparttar 111495 butterfly of happiness comes and lights on your shoulder if you don’t go after it.

Perhaps your memories are as mixed and full as mine. I have good and bad memories, and none of them likerepparttar 111496 Norman Rockwell Christmas.

The holidays are particularly difficult for those of us with alcohol problems inrepparttar 111497 family. The memories – orrepparttar 111498 reality -- of someone drunk or passed out,repparttar 111499 fighting,repparttar 111500 fear,repparttar 111501 anger,repparttar 111502 unpredictability andrepparttar 111503 denial.

The holidays are particularly hard for those of us far from home.

Andrepparttar 111504 holidays are particularly hard for single people, who must go and “sit atrepparttar 111505 end ofrepparttar 111506 couch” at other people’s houses.

Andrepparttar 111507 holidays are particularly hard for young folks with babies. The kids are always sick, there’s too much to do, too little time, maybe too little money.

Butrepparttar 111508 holidays are no less hard for those of us with no family, too little to do, too much time, too much money.

The EQ Coach reminds herself that ·It’s our expectations that cause us misery; keep them realistic. Better yet, don’t have any. ·If you don’t go looking, it could be your year forrepparttar 111509 Christmas butterfly. ·That exhaustion and stress aren’t good this time of year. Take care of yourself! ·All emotions are welcome; our grief isrepparttar 111510 price we pay forrepparttar 111511 exquisite joy inrepparttar 111512 same proportion – that’srepparttar 111513 deal, that’srepparttar 111514 way it is. If we won’t allow grief, we can’t have joy. ·That some people aren’t able to be present at Christmas – some are dead, some are locked inrepparttar 111515 past, and some are off inrepparttar 111516 future, and that’s okay. ·That Optimism is a good option – how we attribute bad things that happen. Ifrepparttar 111517 turkey burns – not a small thing if you’rerepparttar 111518 daughter-in-law fixingrepparttar 111519 meal forrepparttar 111520 first time -- that it meansrepparttar 111521 thermostat didn’t work, not that you can’t cook. ·That Flexbility is wise – people get sick, plans change, gifts don’t arrive, butrepparttar 111522 celebration can still occur – there are many ways to skin a cat. ·That Resilience is earned not given, and it’s earned by processing hard times and learning from them. GROWING through them, not just GOING through them. ·That nothing’s perfect and you’ll only exhaust yourself and make yourself and everyone else miserable if that’s your goal. ·That we have Personal Power and choices – it’s your holiday to spend as you wish. Christmas has a knob – turn it on, turn it up, turn it down, turn it off. ·And that if it’s good, it will change, and if it’s bad, it will change. Ask yourself and those around you, “How do you feel about Christmas?” There are lots of people who need to be heard this time of year.

My client tells me she’s going to start a new tradition this year. She’ll invite everyone over for a Christmas brunch. I tell her I think this is a great idea, and I make a note to send her some of my cardamom bread. It mails well and hasrepparttar 111523 virtue of containing no candied fruit!

I have new traditions, too. I have a little cap for my dog that says “Chimney Watch: Santa Patrol” on it. I’ll have it on her whenrepparttar 111524 kids walk inrepparttar 111525 door, and there will be jingle bells onrepparttar 111526 door knob and a motion-sensored wreath onrepparttar 111527 door with eyeballs from K-Mart that says “Ho Ho Ho”.

I have an ineffable desire to enjoy myself and my life. I hope you do too!

Chettie would approve.

Susan Dunn is a personal and professional development coach specializing in emotional intelligence, transitions, midlife, and womens issues. http://www.susandunn.cc and mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine.


The Truth About Santa Claus

Written by Arleen M. Kaptur


Continued from page 1

However, no one can fully take awayrepparttar "invisible", but very real feelings of faith, love, care and concern. Joy cannot be touched and neither can happiness. They are, however, very real and can be a part of each and every day. While all Holidays are not picture-perfect, no matter how meager or unadorned a Holiday may be, knowing and cherishing in your heartrepparttar 111493 belief in Santa Claus is truly a wonder - a part of life that we must hang on to forever and pass on to new generations. We must preserverepparttar 111494 awe of fresh snow, unbelievable sunsets, andrepparttar 111495 warmth of holding someone's hand.

Irving Berlin write "White Christmas" duringrepparttar 111496 warm years. It was so simple and yet so breathtakingly beautiful. Faith is reallyrepparttar 111497 same - it is basic, simple and yet will take your breath away withrepparttar 111498 reflection it creates of "good will" and "love."

Yes, there really is a Santa Claus and it beats in individual hearts and makes life wondrous and beautiful. We must all "wish" that this light this belief, goes on forever inrepparttar 111499 hearts of all men/women/and children. It is a "light that must never be extinguished." Happy Holidays and ENJOY! ©Arleen M. Kaptur 2002 November

Arleen has written numerous books, cookbooks, articles and Holiday newsletters: http://www.Arleens-RusticLiving.com http://www.arleenssite.com


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