We haven't even considered cooperative advertising, which can be anything from myriad logos at bottom of an event poster to branded music tones and flashing-light Intel trademark that ends every other commercial for someone else's computer products.

But it extends further. Consider: Magazines that sell cover stories; product placement in movies and TV (and yes, live theater); branded clothing; bumper stickers; even fliers stuck on parked cars. There are ad messages on private automobiles (and those anti-humanistic trucks that some insist are called SUVs). Pull up behind a vehicle in traffic and you can read an ad for car dealership on license plate frame, plus another piece of public relations for state on plate itself. (Come on, you don't think it's hype to put "Land of enchantment" on every vehicle licensed in state of New Mexico?)

You might think that this plethora of options makes it easier for firms to get their messages across to their targeted demographics, but a good case can be made for opposite view. TV audiences are turning to Tivo and pay-per-view. Radio audiences are discovering XM and Sirius Satellite Radio. Newspaper readership is becoming an oxymoron. Motion picture audiences can be heard groaning, mocking or booing pre-feature commercials.

This means there are a lot of people working on new ways to get product benefits into brains of consumers. I do it with humorous radio scripts and subliminally seductive music, but there are going to be some innovations in our industry, and at risk of appearing foolish, I'm going to make a few predictions. Within next few years, we'll see:

* Debit card scanners in TV sets, so you can order during a commercial with flick of your remote. * Barcodes in songs, so you can download from iTunes by swiping your XM or Sirius player with your Visa or MasterCard. * Credit cards built into wristwatches, so your "plastic money" is always close at hand. * Links to product sites in every scene of DVD movies or computer games. Do you want shoes in Tony Hawk Pro Skater game? Click-click-click and they're on their way to you via FedEx (note product placement for big competitor to United Parcel Service). * Broadcasts of infotainment and advertainment will pop up everywhere: in public restrooms, at Starbucks, at traffic signals, at gas pump, on your mailbox, in packages you purchase, in parcels that arrive at your door, etc. * Captive broadcasts. Just as you can preview music on packaged CDs (available in EU now, but coming soon to USA), product benefits, price points and warranty information will play as soon as you lift up a product in store. * Digitized logo placement in rebroadcasts of syndicated TV shows ("Hey, we can sell product placement another three times!") * Branded ingredient lists on menus. * Corporate artwork that takes you on a virtual tour of company. * Interactive ads, where you get to play Jerry Seinfeld and/or Superman (or driver of BMW) in a five-minute escape from reality (and from reality TV). * Holographic projections of commercials from postage stamps, car and house keys, magazine covers and ad pages, etc.

And these are just changes we'll be seeing in next few years. We're not even discussing opportunities for advertainment once we move beyond traditional broadcast methodology; when microchips are embedded under your skin, YOU will be receiver for TV, radio, satellite, telephone, and global positioning system signals. And at that point, possibilities for marketing communication via advertainment are going to become truly mind-boggling.

Are these prospects exciting, frightening, or both? My view is positive. After all, a lot of these new forms of communication are going to need my scripts and my music.

# # #

b. Make a great product.

People ask for chargebacks if they don't remember charge. They also do it if charge was for a product that sucked.

Don't suck.

Make products that make people happy and do what you can to take care of your customer after sale.

This way you get best of both worlds. You get increased sales of aggressive tactics *and* you get happy customers.

c. Offer refunds quickly and easily.

If someone wants their money back, why fight it? You could acquire two new customers in time it would take you to win over an angry one.

Do your best to make them happy, but if they don't respond to your overtures quickly, just let them go.

2. File Sharing Hijacking

How it Works

You're on your favorite file-sharing system trying to download a song by your favorite artist. You load file and suddenly find out it's a clip from a porn film with command to visit a website to see full length clip.

Problems

Obviously if someone expects a song from Coldplay and gets a video from Jenna Jameson they might be a little miffed.

But are they? Obviously it must be working or people wouldn't be doing it. Perhaps it's just that people are so drawn to porn that they overlook it.

At any rate, I don't recommend trying this for yourself. That is, unless you adjust it a bit ...

How to Adapt and Adjust

The ethical analogue to this is fusion.

Fusion Marketing is when you see one company riding along advertising of another.

For example, when you see movies advertised on cups of soft drinks served at McDonalds, that is Fusion Marketing.

When you see films advertising products subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) in contents of film that's Fusion as well.

So, what's difference?

The difference is that Fusion marketing still gives people what they are asking for. You don't walk in expecting a film and walk out finding you've seen a commercial (unless you just viewed Fahrenheit 9/11). If you do, you're angry.

The Fusion Marketer still gives you film (what you want) *and* rides along with his marketing message (the advertisement).

Porn purveyors are advertising one thing and giving another (the good old "bait and switch") which is sure to aggravate your customers.

How can you use legitimate Fusion Marketing to boost your business?