Generally, hope of self-judgment is to protect against rejection and failure. The false beliefs are that, “If I judge myself, then others won’t judge me and reject me. I can be safe from others’ judgment by judging myself first,” or “If I judge myself, I can motivate myself to do things right and succeed. Then I will feel safe and be loved and accepted by others.”

However, just as a child does far better in school with encouragement than with criticism, so do we as adults. Criticism tends to scare and immobilize us. Instead of motivating us, it often creates so much anxiety that we get frozen and become unable to take appropriate action for ourselves. More self-judgment follows lack of action, which results in more anxiety and immobilization, until we create a situation where we are completely stuck and miserable.

The way out of this is to become aware of feelings of fear, anxiety, anger or depression and then ask yourself, “What did I just tell myself that is creating this feeling?” Once you become aware of self-judgment, you can then ask yourself, “Am I certain that what I am telling myself is true?” If you are not 100% certain that what you are telling yourself is true, you can ask your higher, wise self or a spiritual source of wisdom, “What is truth?” If you are really open to learning about truth, truth will pop into your mind, and it will be much different than what you have been telling yourself.

For example, “I’m such a jerk. How could I have said that?” becomes “We all mess up at times. It’s okay to make mistakes - it’s part of being human. Making a mistake does not mean that you are a jerk.” When we open to truth, we will discover a kind and compassionate way of speaking to ourselves, a way that makes us feel loved and safe rather than anxious, angry or depressed.

Addictions are always challenging to resolve, and an addiction to self-judgment is no exception. So be easy on yourself, and don’t judge yourself for judging yourself! It will take time and dedication to become aware of your self-judgments and learn to be kind toward yourself, but end result is so worth effort!

In self examination, sometimes you need to be a tough critic. This concept raises bar of standards and ensures that it doesn’t naturally slide downward due to self-neglect.

Constantly moving forward should only proceed once examination and accountability has been achieved. It is definitely nothing less than horrible advice to forget about everything when people say this. It is basically saying turn other cheek to reality and step away by moving forward.

Although, there are many scenarios in life, like a breakup in a relationship, where sometimes moving forward sooner than later is indicated; however, these still need assistance of introspection.

In event your ego is simply too important because everything you do or touch usually turns to gold and silver anyway, then it’s time to check that at door.

By not checking your ego or narcissism, your simply becoming like that of a plant that never grows. You are always fed with water and sunlight but, due to your lack of introspection, you stay static amongst many others becoming taller and stronger around you.

Committing to yourself to daily self examination will undoubtedly improve your moral character, but more importantly, help in your overall self progression. Resolve to become and stay permanently committed.

--by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com Want to improve your personal values? Get high-quality-relationship advice for guys and gals from a 'Logical' standpoint. Visit ValuePrep - Relationship Advice **Attn Ezine editors / Site Owners** Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your website as long as you leave all links in place, do not modify content and include our resource box as listed above.

Brian Maloney is an online writer assisting others in understanding their personal values within their relationships. As site owner of the new ValuePrep.com, solid editorial is what you can expect from him in the future along with his first book to be released in 2005/6.