Addiction to Complaining

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Continued from page 1

My father’s withdrawal, of course, only served to exacerbate my mother’s complaining, and she constantly complained about my father’s lack of caring about her. Likewise, my mother’s complaining served to exacerbate my father’s already withdrawn way of being. This vicious circle started early and continued unabated forrepparttar 60 years of their marriage, until my mother died.

While my parents loved each other, their ability to express their love got buried beneathrepparttar 126080 dysfunctional system they created. Unfortunately, this is all too common in relationships. One person pulling – with complaints, anger, judgment, and other forms of control - andrepparttar 126081 other withdrawing, isrepparttar 126082 most common relationship system I work with.

A person addicted to complaining will not be able to stop complaining until he or she doesrepparttar 126083 inner work of developing an adult part of themselves capable of giving themselvesrepparttar 126084 love, caring, understanding and compassion they need. As long as they believe that it is another’s responsibility to berepparttar 126085 adult for them and fill them with love, they will not take on this responsibility for themselves.

Our inner child –repparttar 126086 feeling part of us – needs attention, approval, caring. If we don’t learn to give this to ourselves, then this wounded child part of ourselves will either seek to get it from others, or learn to numb out with substance and process addictions – food, alcohol, drugs, TV, work, gambling, and so on. If, as a child, a person saw others get attention through complaining – as my mother did with my grandmother – and if complaining worked forrepparttar 126087 child to get what he or she wanted, then it can become an addiction. Like all addictions, it may work forrepparttar 126088 moment, but it will never fillrepparttar 126089 deep inner need for love. Only we can fill this need for ourselves, by opening our hearts torepparttar 126090 Source of love. Only we can dorepparttar 126091 inner work of developing a loving adult capable of opening torepparttar 126092 love of Spirit and bringing that love torepparttar 126093 child within. People stop complaining when they learn to fill themselves with love.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: or Phone Sessions Available.

Do You Think You Have Depression?

Written by David Smith

Continued from page 1

When we are suffering from depression, it seems that we lose our objectivity. Does thinking that we have nothing to look forward to sound rational to you? Where did my enjoyment in life disappear to? It was my perception ofrepparttar world that had slowly changed and I was unable to see it because ofrepparttar 126079 control that my depression had over me.

Inrepparttar 126080 fast pace of today's world we often don't allow ourselves time to evaluate our lives and set goals to realize our ambitions. Whether you do or do not have depression, you're reading this article because you think something might be wrong with your life. Have you tried to identifyrepparttar 126081 things you are unhappy with? The first step for me was to educate myself and find out what it was that I was dealing with. I started reading books. I consulted a psychologist to get some unbiased insight about myself.

Otherwise, how do we find solutions for problems that we don't yet understand? So let's get started. What's stopping you?


David Smith is the writer for My Depression Help, a resource site where he describes his feelings and experiences with depression and provides the depression help solutions he used for his recovery.

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