Addiction to Blame

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


Continued from page 1

As we explored why Allen was so self-abusive, he realized that he believed that if he judged himself enough, he could have control over getting himself to do it “right.” He realized this wasn’t true by an experience he had playing tennis.

“I played last Wednesday and I was in a really good mood. I was just playing forrepparttar fun of it, rather than to play well, and I played my best game ever! The very next day I played worse than I have for a long time. I realized that, having done so well on Wednesday, I now wanted control over doing as well on Thursday. As soon as I tried to control it, I lost it.

I want to stop doing this, but I’ve been doing it my while life. How do I stop?”

Stopping any addiction is always a challenge. Changing our thought process is especially challenging. However, there is a process available, but it will work only when you really want to change. Changing from being self-abusive to self-loving has to become more important to you than continuing to try to control yourself through your self-judgments.

1. Pay attention to your feelings. Learn to be aware of when you are feeling angry, anxious, hurt, scared, guilty, shamed, depressed, and so on.

2. Make a conscious decision to learn about what you are telling yourself that is causing your pain, rather than ignoring it, turning to substance or process addictions, or continuing to abuse yourself.

3. Ask yourself, “What am I telling myself that is causing me to feel badly?” Once you are aware of what you are telling yourself, ask yourself, “Am I certain that what I’m telling myself isrepparttar 130066 truth, or is it just something I’ve made up?” Then ask yourself, “What am I trying to control by telling myself this?”

4. Once you are aware that you are telling yourself a lie that is causing you to feel badly, and why you are telling it to yourself, askrepparttar 130067 highest, wisest part of yourself, or ask an inner teacher or a spiritual source of guidance, “What isrepparttar 130068 truth?” When you sincerely want to knowrepparttar 130069 truth, it will easily come to you.

5. Change your thinking, now telling yourselfrepparttar 130070 truth.

6. Notice how you feel. Lies will always make you feel badly, whilerepparttar 130071 truth brings inner peace. Any time you are not in peace, go through this process to discover what lie you are telling yourself. Eventually, with enough practice, you will be in truth and peace more and more ofrepparttar 130072 time.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of a powerful self-help, 6-step emotional and spiritual healing process called Inner Bonding. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com


The Joy of Meaningful Work

Written by Jan-Marie Dore


Continued from page 1
All meaningful work sharesrepparttar following three common traits:It nurtures and empowers you. Meaningful work builds you up, sustains you, and helps you to learn and grow. Evenrepparttar 130064 most mundane and dreaded aspects, no matter how difficult, are very satisfying. If your work has meaning, it feels worthrepparttar 130065 effort, and each night you go to bed glad that you did what you did that day.It matches your core values. Your deepest core values shape your perspective, guide your behavior, arouse your deepest emotions, and determine your choices. Work that has meaning connects you torepparttar 130066 things that are most important to you, to those values you hold in highest regard. If you feel that your work lacks meaning, it's almost certainly because it conflicts in some way with your values.It connects you with your passions and interests. You can't be successful if you don't have passion. If you don't have passion for what you do, do something else. Search to find happiness in your work life. If you are passionate about an area of interest, find out what makes you happy and consider pursuing it as a career. Find a niche where you can live your positive traits torepparttar 130067 fullest. You'll be much happier if you do.DOES YOUR WORK INSPIRE YOU? Clarifying your values will ultimately lead you to greater meaning in your work. To get a sense of how strongrepparttar 130068 power of your own purpose is as it relates torepparttar 130069 work that you do, answerrepparttar 130070 following questions:- How much do you enjoy what you do?- Doesrepparttar 130071 work you are doing inspire you?- Does your work feel like a calling and give you a sense of purpose? - Do evenrepparttar 130072 mundane details of what you do inspire you to be your best? - How excited are you to get to work inrepparttar 130073 morning? - How accountable do you hold yourself to a deeply held set of core values? 5 WAYS TO MAKE IT HAPPEN Those in search of developing a better relationship to their work might take time to dorepparttar 130074 following: - Clarify your core values and align your work with them.- Develop a philosophy, mission, and vision that guide your work life.- Reconnect to a sense of purpose about your work to give you a clear direction. - Determine what contribution you can make to society.- Bring mindful attention to your work every day.

Jan Marie Dore is a Professional Certified Coach who supports female executives and professionals in living a high quality, more fulfilling life - one that is meaningful, authentic, and a joy to wake up to every day. For free resources and programs on work-life balance and living your best life, visit www.janmariedore.com or sign up for monthly articles by sending an email to balance@janmariedore.com


    <Back to Page 1
 
ImproveHomeLife.com © 2005
Terms of Use