This takes a lot of mental practice but challenge yourself. When faced with a threatening, worrisome problem ask yourself following questions. What would happen if I didn’t try to control, correct, fix or stop this thing? What if I just let it run it’s course, accepted it, and tried to learn from it? What if I spend one whole day not thinking about it? What is worse thing this problem can do to me? What is it that I can learn from this? Will I be able to pass my knowledge on to someone else?

Sometimes acceptance begins with simply being grateful. When you become aware of things you are thankful for it fosters positive thinking. Again, this takes a lot of practice – daily practice. Some people use gratitude journals, others just go through a mental exercise each day – reminding themselves of what they are thankful for. It can be done first thing in morning or at night before bed. It can be done individually or as a family. You can be grateful for what has happened that particular day or in your life in general. You can express gratitude for one thing or ten things. It doesn’t matter how it’s done, as long as it’s done daily. Pretty soon your perspective will begin to change and you’ll dump that “victim mentality”. It’s best thing you could ever do for yourself!

It has now become almost a habit that when there is pain in my life (and believe me, there is still pain!) I ask myself what I can learn from it and how I can grow. Then I try (as hard as it is) to be thankful for it. Actually, part of my personal mission statement says: “I am thankful each day for pleasure and pain in my life”. Acceptance doesn’t make pain go away. However, it sure does make journey a little easier when you’re not fighting tooth and nail. Plus you get added benefits of less fatigue and stress, fewer wrinkles (yea!), more energy and better physical condition. You cannot change events of your life; but by changing your perspective of those events they don’t seem so scary – and you can attract more positive things.

© 2001 By Monique Rider

There are three components to identity: self-concept, social identity and paper identity.

Self concept is expressed when you fill out a series of "I am" statements. You think of yourself as a father, country club member, and banker.

Social identity is way others view you. People treat you differently if you're a bank manager or if you're starting a new e-business in a field they've never heard of. Think about how you feel when you're introduced at parties as, "This is Mary. She is a…"

Paper identity is way you're regarded by businesses and professionals you deal with. When you have a job, it is easy to get credit and a premium checking out. When you change careers, especially if you start your own business, you may be on shakier ground.

Your response to a new identity will be unique: "After being on my own, I went back to a corporate job. When we got United Way forms, it hit me. I was now an employee. It didn't feel good." Others will find same world liberating: "No more chasing after clients -- and I love pension contributions!"

I encourage career changers to include a plan for identity change, as a way to help smooth journey.