A roommate story too strange to make up

Written by dan the roommate man

Continued from page 1

Then he starts antagonizing people and attempting to pick fights with just about everybody. At one point he threatned to kill myself andrepparttar other roommate, DnD, as of now I completely forgot whatrepparttar 118093 premise ofrepparttar 118094 conversation was, but this type of thing happened pretty much every night for a month. Dealing with CrazyBones was like walking on landmines. Withrepparttar 118095 aid ofrepparttar 118096 Univeristy (who ownedrepparttar 118097 house) we encouraged CrazyBones to move. A few months later I hear he is charged for felony B & E. I don't hear anything about him for three months when he calls and tells me that he was going through rehab and some twelve step programs and is calling to ask my forgiveness. I give him my forgiveness and he tells me that he had been dealing crystal meth out ofrepparttar 118098 basement and he was doing tons of meth AND he, atrepparttar 118099 time of all this, decided to quit taking medication for bipolar disorder.

BUT, this is onlyrepparttar 118100 first part ofrepparttar 118101 story

After CrazyBones moved out, we still had a room to fill and since DnD was too much of a cheap ass to split $750 downrepparttar 118102 middle he wanted to get another roommate. He suggests his brother, who turns out to be another completely worthless human being. What DnD failed to tell me about his brother at first (he waited until it became an issue two months later) was that his brother had been kicked out their parents, his girlfriend's, and and alcohol rehab center. DnD's brother major problem was that he was drunk and loud and would actually get so drunk he would stumble over his own feet. I put up with this untilrepparttar 118103 night when this dude somehow tippedrepparttar 118104 entire refrigerator over. I can't even begin to explain what that kitchen looked likerepparttar 118105 next day. And DnD also found his brother was hiding some small weapons by his bed. Needless to say we kicked him out as well.

The main morals of this story are 1.) If you plan to live by yourself....DO IT!!!! 2.) If someone seems a little crazy chances are they are a lot crazy

Since 1989 we have helped over 1 million people find rooms or roommates. Need help, contact us at www.roommateexpress.com


Written by Victoria Elizabeth

Continued from page 1

So how to bring a spark of interest back to a noun like “slob”? (Note: "Slob" should not be confused with another four-letter word, “slog” as inrepparttar verb 'to toil' like witches do, 'to labour' as rock stars do, or 'to work' like a dog …likerepparttar 118092 rest of us do.)

The answer lies perhaps in tossingrepparttar 118093 tasteless term intorepparttar 118094 trashcan, (now stop snivelling ...it's just for one day). Why not take another word out for for a test drive? After all, you've got lots to choose from.

In case there's no handy-dandy dictionary nearby, here's a luscious list of light-hearted love handles to use (besides "pig" or "hog" instead of "slob" to describe your boss, best friend, or long-lost relative Aunt “P”).

-- Abbey-lubber, Afterling, -- Bawdstrot, Blob-Tale, -- Daggle-Tail, Draggletail, Dustman, Drassock, Drossell, -- Fleak, Fonkin, Fopdoodle, -- Hoddypeak, -- Looby, -- Mudlark, Mumper, -- Porknell, -- Ragamuffin,Runcy -- Srubbado, Slattern, Sloven, Slop, Snollygoster, -- Tatterdemalion, Tosspot, -- Walking Mort, Wallydraigle, Wallower, Whiffling, Whipperginnie, -- (and last but not least one of my favorite's),repparttar 118095 Yammering Yokel

Remember, mind-candy doesn’t come with any money-back guarantees – so you might want to use your new-fangled words with care, so as to avoid becoming addicted to them or being bopped overrepparttar 118096 head by someone with a bigger bumbershoot or a better dictionary than you!

Victoria Elizabeth, is a lady of leisure and lollygagging who enjoys playing with words in between doing serious stuff like performing her ripsnorting royal duties as "The Quipping Queen" at www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com

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