Instead of seeing manager as just another person whose job happens to be to give others instructions about how to do their jobs, Angeliques of world see managers differently. They see managers as enemies with whom they need to struggle to prove that they are independent and autonomous.

Supervisors at work, and significant others in private life, are prime targets for their need to establish their independence by repeatedly creating and resolving power struggles.

Creating Appropriate Limits

Angelique had managed to create a power struggle with Ellen, and Ellen, like many forward thinking managers, was confused about what to do. Although she did not want to be Angelique’s parent, she did need to provide firm, matter-of-fact consequences for any team member who ignored important rules.

When Angelique experiences this discipline she can decide whether or not to give up struggle and act like a mature adult in workplace. Whether Ellen likes it or not, she probably can’t help Angelique to become a productive member of unit without providing these consequences.

Ellen confirmed that this was probably necessary. She knows that Angelique grew up in a wealthy, overindulgent family, that Angelique’s father purchased a house for her to live in, and she has few financial responsibilities. Ellen noted, “She has trouble setting appropriate limits for some of patients she works with, too. Is this another sign of her need for limits?

Once situation became clear, Ellen created a plan. She decided to warn Angelique that if she does not follow units guidelines about working hours and appropriate notification this month, she will have to punch time clock next month, and will have written notice warning her of termination placed in her file. If she does not follow procedures with time clock, she will then be terminated.

Ellen was relieved. I want to get out of power struggle and supervise her appropriately. She is certainly intelligent enough to keep her job if she wants it.

Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., is an internationally known executive coach, psychotherapist, and author.

Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., Master Certified Coach, mycoachingbio Expert Coaching for Personal and Working Relationships Empowerment Systems, 506 West Davies Way, Littleton, CO 80120 303-794-5379 Fax 303-794-5408, www.empowermentsystems.com

For more Secrets for Turning Difficult Conversations into Amazing Opportunities for Cooperation and Success visit Laurie at www.DareToSayIt.com

Knowing these two alternatives and their consequences at time of starting activity A-1 which would you rather chose?

ADDITIONAL TIPS FOR CONTROLLING TIME

•If possible, delegate. This is first point to consider before starting to-do´s. Never do others work because “I can do it faster and better”.

•Say “no” whenever you can. Of course, you must be careful of saying “no” to important projects or delicate tasks. A good rule to follow is to ask “will something terrible happen if I don’t do this?” If answer is “no”, don’t do it.

•Close door to your office. Tell others you will not be available at certain hours. Keep your door closed and do your “A”´s without distracting yourself. For some, a half-hour is enough. For others, maybe two hours are necessary. It doesn’t matter, do it.

•Don’t worry about your “C”´s. Forgetting about these projects will take a load off your back. You can to this without guilty feelings if you follow Pareto´s Law of 80-20. According to this law, 20% of all things account for 80% of their value.

•The 80/20 rule, suggests that in a list of 10 activities, doing two of them, will accomplish 80% of their work. Find these two, classify them as “A” and do them. The rest can be left as they were because, after all, they represent only 20% of total value.

•Frequent ask yourself, “What is best use of my time at this moment?” If it isn’t activity you are doing at that moment, change your activity.

•If you finished an important task, give yourself a reward. Think of reward before doing your “A”s.

•Manage your meetings. If you called meeting: 1.Minimize number of participants. 2.Let everyone know organization and objectives of meeting. 3.Don’t let ideas get on wrong track. 4.Summarize each point after it has been discussed. 5.Set goals and deadlines to finish before calling next meeting. 6.Program your meetings as close as possible to quitting time. The meeting room should have, if possible, uncomfortable chairs. If you were invited to meeting: 1.If possible, don’t attend. 2.If meeting looks disorganized, try to control it. 3.Prepare yourself before attending.

•Control your telephone. For incoming calls: 1.Let your secretary filter them. 2.Say “no” if you are not indicated person to deal with request. For outbound calls: 1.Group your calls at a certain hour. 2.Don’t make calls on impulse. Have on hand all information you will discuss. 3.Shorten friendly, but unproductive conversations.

•Keep your desk clear for action. Place at center most important papers. Once you have finished activities, remove all papers related to it. Start next activity with clear mind and desk.

•Answer your emails first time you read them. Copy only those persons who need to know.

How well you manage your personal time may determine how successful you are. It reflects on how many important things you are able to do.

Parkinson’s law says work expands to fill assigned time. Dare against this law. You know techniques, following step is yours.