Q: What’s difference between lawyers and accountants?

A: At least accountants know they’re boring.

Stories:

1. A man who had been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Don’t worry. You’ll never go to jail with all that money? In fact, when man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime.

2. As lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire across street, and we didn't want you to think you had died."

3. God decided to take devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"

4. A lawyer is sitting at desk in his new office. He hears someone coming to door. To impress his first potential client, he picks up phone as door opens and says, "I demand one million and not a penny less." As he hangs up, man now standing in his office says, "I'm here to hook up your phone."

And finally:

You Might Be A Lawyer If.... You are charging someone to read these jokes.

I watched him for several minutes. He got up some pretty good speed on slope down toward creek. But then hill began, and lower part of hill was almost vertical. The tricycle wheels moved slower and slower, but Davie's legs were still pushing. Davie wasn't giving up.

About that time I thought to tell Mamma, and she realized what I had not: if a car should come swooping down that hill, it would mash Davie and his tricycle flat before driver even saw them. Mamma was off like a shot, and I was able to observe result of two objects with same trajectory traveling at different rates of speed.

Davie was surprisingly docile once Mamma landed on him, and it appeared he had been defeated, but he had not. His views were unchanged. He still thought going was better than staying and going places on wheels was better than anything else.