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Dimintio subsequently tried to convince two more baker/entrepreneurs to merge cookies and tape worms, but they brushed him off. He became depressed. We have a record of him at Mt. Sinai, New York City's oldest hospital, where he received water bath therapy, which was all modern medicine had for depression in
late 1800's. Local history in his hometown in Mexico has it that he returned home to his wife and family to bake cookies during
day and play sad Mariachi songs at night.
Rampant Obesity in
20th and 21st Century By
end of
20th century, it was clear that Demintio had been way ahead of his time. Obesity was on
rise, and food addictions were in full swing. Even children as young as nine were eating themselves into adult-onset diabetes. The term 'globesity' was coined to describe this worldwide health crisis.
Ever ahead of
health curve,
Canadian government ordered an exhaustive study of all weight loss solutions known to man. Organizations like Weightwatchers were investigated, diets like The Zone, Atkins, and South Beach were evaluated, herbs like ephedra were eaten, snorted, and injected, tribal peoples across
world were extorted in an attempt to discover their weight loss wisdom... not a single stone was left unturned.
Finally,
government-appointed Canadian National Committee for
Sane Control of Weight issued its monstruously authoritative 500-page report, and overnight it became a Canadian bestseller.
Readers in America still haven't heard of it. It's Canadian! Who cares?? One American publisher firm attempted to take on
U.S. distribution of
report, but ran into translation difficulties. The movie rights, however, are still available.
Among
Committee's findings are:
* No diet works for everyone * Most obese people are lazy, but so are many skinny people * Many obese people eat lots of sugar and diet sodas, but so do skinny Hollywood fashion models * Professional athletes usually are not obese * Anorexics don't gain weight
In short,
report was stunning in its inconclusiveness. The only points of light were some promising newer diets that had not yet been tried by large groups of people, or by large groups of large people, which included:
* The Tape Worm Diet Pill * The Miraculous All Chocolate Diet * The Ephedra Weight Loss Pizza
Experts, in
report, expressed concerns about each of these diets. Yet, they concluded, "we must try anything and everything, leaving no stone unturned, until everyone in
world can look like Jennifer Lopez and Brad Pitt."
Ok, ok, let's get serious.
I really am working on an ephedra weight loss pizza.
Stay tuned.

Acupuncturist, herbalist, and medical professor Brian B. Carter founded the alternative health megasite The Pulse of Oriental Medicine (http://www.PulseMed.org/). He is the author of the book "Powerful Body, Peaceful Mind: How to Heal Yourself with Foods, Herbs, and Acupressure" (November, 2004). Brian speaks on radio across the country, and has been quoted and interviewed by Real Simple, Glamour, and ESPN magazines.