Goals (pronounced 'gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!!!' in actual soccer matches) in soccer are scored by kicking ball through a rectangle shape appropriately called goal. Though rectangle is standard, goals can be made by placing any two objects a few steps apart. I have personally played in neighborhood games where goal posts were chairs, barrels, younger siblings, and shoes (if you're playing barefoot, make sure no one is wearing cleats). Kicking ball below head height and more or less between makeshift goal posts constitutes a goal, though you will find each goal will be heavily debated.

Competitive leagues almost always require shin guards, and you can usually pick up a decent pair for pretty cheap. Even in a friendly park setting, players can get pretty passionate, and it wouldn't be a bad idea to wear them during game.

The rules are simple and easy to learn. The basics you need to know are that you should try to avoid kicking people, you can't tackle people like in American football, and you can't use your hands. In that sense, except for hands restriction, soccer is a lot like life. Other rules apply more in competition, but it wouldn't hurt to read up on them at www.fifa.com.

As with any sport, most important thing is to look good, so go out and buy yourself some silky soccer shorts and jerseys. Long hair and an Italian accent certainly won't hurt your chances of going pro - but if neither of those is an option for you, just remember to have fun and play fair.

Carlos Beltran is another matter. Yeah, it would be great to see him in a Yankee line-up. I could see him patrolling Stadium outfield. Like a spoiled child who has been given exorbitant gifts throughout her lifetime, I expected George to make a last minute move and deliver yet another treasure. Instead, he offered up a different prize: Randy Johnson. I admit that I secretly hoped for both players and was slightly disappointed. In spite of this, I’m very happy he went to Mets.

Why? Because ultimate thrill for a NY sports fan (no matter if you love baseball or not) is to have another Subway Series. It’s our Mecca, our Earthly Paradise, and Nirvana all rolled into one. It eclipses The Superbowl, has us more excited than NBA playoffs, US Open and Master combined. NASCAR is nothing when we’re talking Subway Series.

So if getting Beltran, pitching Pedro, and grabbing some headlines in process are beginnings of making that dream come true, then bring it on. Yankee fans are ready.

Submitted by Cheryl Wallad