There is another side to appreciation. It is equally as important as recognition. William James calls it wisdom. He says, "The art of being wise is art of knowing what to overlook." Ah! That's worth thinking about, isn't it?

Do you know what to overlook and when to overlook it? That can only happen when you step outside of yourself, your needs and wants, and see another person wholly. When you can calibrate what is most important at any given moment in a relationship, you are very wise.

Often, when I am working with workplace teams, conflict is worst when folks do not know what to overlook. When tempers flare and approaches differ, nitpicking escalates. When deadlines loom and funding fails, fingers point. A wise person takes a step back and looks at whole picture. What is happening here? What do we want to happen? What outcomes do we want this exchange to create? This is time to focus on appreciation and follow it with team problem-solving.

The same is true in all relationships. If things are getting tense, reflect on last time you felt appreciated. More importantly, when was last time you found something to appreciate in another? This could well be at bottom of anger, frustration, fear or hurt that you are feeling. You can fix this with good communication and assertion skills.

Start with yourself. Give first. Demanding to receive when other person is feeling empty will only escalate negatives. Whoever is most sane at moment in any relationship is one responsible for that relationship. Let that be you.

Appreciation is never wasted. Find things to acknowledge. Notice what others do well. Catch them doing things right. Notice what others do for you. Offer your thanks. You'll feel better. And, very soon, it will come back to you. I promise.

4. Understand cause and effect. The law of cause and effect is prime law that runs universe. It is number one law. Every spiritual and scientific teacher has sought to teach it. They may have said you reap what you sow, or you get what you give, or what goes around comes around, or karma, or consequences, or every action has an equal and opposite reaction, or many other similar statements. Quantum physics is now teaching us how this works, exactly, on a sub-atomic level. Things get better when you get better. They get worse when you get worse. The world is all within you. You are at cause over everything that happens in your life, whether you were conscious of it or not.

5. Eliminate level confusion. Align your thoughts, words and actions with your goals. Become aware. And realize that physical world is an effect, not a cause. It is a result of our thoughts, words and actions. You cannot achieve anything by trying to manipulate effect. Instead look to change cause.

6. Understand infinite loops. You see what you believe and you believe what you see. But start of this loop is that what you believe is what causes conditions that you see.

7. Know that there is no order of difficulty, as all limits are placed upon yourself by what you believe to be so.

8 Find your purpose. Find out what makes you happiest, and work within your purpose. When you do so, your confidence, inspiration, creativity, energy and passion will be unstoppable.