PROCESSING

School is school, just like work is work, but when there’s been a hiatus, and when certain parts of it are new, there is always emotional processing going on.

Just as you ask your child for facts -- about their teacher, classmates, and subject -- ask them about their feelings. Then listen. Provide support and perspective as needed. A comment such as, “I hate school,” should be investigated. It may turn out, as happened to me once with a little one, that lunch served that day had been “yuchy,” though everything else, once pursued, appeared to have been keen.

If you precede this with “How are you feeling about your new teacher?” you will get a chance to experience level of your child’s ability to express their emotions, and can help him or her sort them through, which is invaluable. Make emotional-expression vocabulary a part of your child’s learning experience. Children as young as 3 can learn to respond (when having a tantrum):

“Are you angry?” ”Yes.” “Can you tell me why?” I’m frustrated.”

IT’S MORE THAN GETTING A’S

As you get into first weeks, check and see how your child is doing in their social adjustment. Friends and being able to get along make such a difference in their self-esteem, happiness, and ability to function well at school. A’s are important, but children with higher emotional intelligence and better interpersonal relationships tend to do better academically.

With patience on your part, and instruction, and passage of time, much of turmoil will subside. Before you know it, you’ll all be settled into new routine!