Replacement therapy is not new. How many times have you heard of people attempting to replace their smoking habits by sucking mints? (I am just waiting for time when I come across someone who thinks they have cheated by system by sliding a cigarette through holes of a packet of "Polo's ("LifeSavers" for our American friends)! Although that is a very flippant remark, it does exaggeratingly make my point: replacement therapy, if it is to work, needs to be a truly pleasurable and/or rewarding experience if we are to keep returning to it.

STEP 3: Control acceptable.

If replacement therapy is allowed to run rampant, then it just becomes another out of control habit. It may be pleasurable, but in reality it is just another out of control experience.

You cannot control a habit, no matter how pleasurable it is. By it`s very nature, word "habit" indicates action out of control. What we do is introduce something I call: "resultant substitution".

When a football game isn`t going as well as manager would like or there is a need for a particular player to be replaced, a substitute player takes field. What is that state of that new player? They are fresh, alert, and ready to play their own game with an eye to helping team to win. It is likely that they will play using their own unique skills and abilities. Such players do not find themselves on pitch by accident (not theirs anyway!), but by purposeful positioning. Your substitute needs to appear through purposeful positioning if it is to have full effect. The manager (which would be you), should be in a position to make that decisive choice as to whether or not to leave them to play game through till end or changing substitution should it suit needs of game. All time control is in hands of manager - you, rather than in control of opposite team.

Step 4: Offer Reward

As human beings, we are pretty strange. When we catch ourselves doing something we believe to be wrong, then we start beating ourselves up about it. Normally this tends to be an argument that goes on inside our heads. We get really uptight with ourselves, boy do we go through it! Sometimes it can go on for days, maybe even longer. If judgement has been inflicted upon us, e.g. from others who we hold in regard, we can carry that torment with us for years!

So what are we to do? First of all, discover what forgiveness is. If you have a genuine need to be forgiven, even a perceived need, then this simple principle is so very important to master. Until you do, you will never be able to move forwards. Goodness knows there are enough people out there who are all to keen to be damning in judgement without you joining queue against yourself!

The second thing to do is to recognise when it works for you - when you actually get it right or resist that previously overpowering habit. I have some bad news for you... you are not perfect! Let that sink in.. You are not perfect! Sometimes you are going to fail in your efforts, but sometimes...maybe quite a distance apart at first, but sometimes you WILL succeed! When you do... reward yourself. Treat yourself in some acceptable way. Something that really builds on success you have had. This is all to do with association and mental image of experience that you form. This is so important as it consolidates your efforts to action.

Step 5: Set A Cut Off Point

I`m not really into football that much, but analogy works well. Every match, every game, has an end point. Sooner or later it finishes and everybody goes home.

When I was a boy, I owned one of those electric slot-car racing sets. Together with my brother or one of my sisters, we would place those cars side-by-side and hit throttle. The cars would spring into life and hurtle round track. Sometimes they would shoot off and crash into barriers. No matter. We would just pick them up and off they would go again. Round and round they would go, sparks flying as those little pieces of mesh scraped tracks. These little cars would continue to hurtle around that track again and again until either we got fed up with game or food was offered!

If we fail to set ourselves some marker - a date by which we will have achieved required action - then we leave ourselves open to position of racing around track of life with no end in sight. We become open to whims of personal taste rather than specification.

Goals can seem pretty final can`t they? They are firm points in life. Dates, actions, etc all specified in black and white. Here`s a question for you though: Who sets and/or agrees those goals? You do! So guess who is in control of them? That`s right...again, you are! If you find that for whatever reason, that your goals are not reached as and when you had originally planned, don`t go beating yourself around head about it. As you go along heading towards your goals, keep a good record of what you have done and how you are progressing, what your plans are, etc., and then reset those goals to a new date. The issue is about journey - progress - rather than simply about your arrival.

Step 6: Watch For Your Signals

What do you know about salesman`s tactics? The kind that gives you a sales pitch and at some point moves in for close of sale? How do they know just when to pull it all together and go for your signature on deal? Buying signals. A trained salesman will watch you like a hawk with an eye that includes your body language, your comments, change of tone, established rapport, etc., etc. We all do it every day our lives. We give out signals that show our acceptance or otherwise of deals that are on table. When it comes to overcoming your worst habits, there will come a point when you should go for close. Sew up that deal once and for all.

I used to work in Central London. At time, I lived out on edge of London and travelled into work on London Underground - "tube" train. Sometimes I would be pretty tired on that journey and heat and monotony of journey, I would fall asleep and continue on right past station that I needed! I failed to get off when I reached my destination. Don`t be like me - in your journey through life, watch for and get off at your destination. Watch out for your signals.

I'm sure, you will find it helpful to discover characteristics of introverts so you can support your child in a positive self image. Here are 20 characteristics universal to introverts.

Introverts ... 1. love to read 2. have a few close, true friends 3. are excellent listeners 4. do not like to contribute in class 5. give people energy (extroverts take energy) 6. love to go to their room and close door 7. may be exhausted by social interaction required during a typical day at school 8. do not like group work 9. do not learn by repeating things out loud 10. like to connect dots and insist on turning information in to knowledge 11. are very territorial 12. like to know about expectations well ahead of time 13. suffer from feelings of humiliation if they make a mistake in public 14. are intense 15. hate small talk 16. prefer to write rather than talk and especially don’t like talking on phone 17. have a private and a public personality 18. say what they mean 19. prefer not to say anything unless it is significant 20. need time alone to recharge their batteries

It is reassuring to know that higher up IQ, greater percentage of introverts. As your child progresses in life, chances are they will encounter a more friendly environment but you can help them while they’re small to develop a positive self image. Raising consciousness whenever possible among teachers and school administrators is also going to help your child, and other introverted children, to love and understand themselves better.