5 Simple Strategies for Keeping Your Life StuckWritten by Mary Ann Bailey
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Taking Life (and Yourself) Too Seriously Most of us were raised to believe that key to success was hard work. Recently that belief has been revised to include hard work and very long hours. I would like to challenge that belief with another old adage: "All work and no play makes Jack/Jill a dull person." To keep our lives flowing we need to intersperse fun, laughter, and creativity with our work. We need to be able to take time to enjoy and reenergize ourselves without feeling guilty or irresponsible. It is during these times of rest and fun that our minds are free to dream and imagine. This is when we very often come up with solutions to our problems, new ways to hit life's curves balls, and new strategies to enliven and enrich ourselves. Living Life from Middle One of easiest ways to keep our life stuck is to live it from middle rather than closer to edge. Living life from middle means to remain safely in your comfort zone. It means to do things same way, avoiding change at all costs, and eliminating all spontaneity from your life. As boring as this may sound, it is way a majority of people live. And, as a result, middle is an extremely crowded place and it is very easy to feel stuck when you are there. By encouraging yourself to take small, yet consistent, steps toward "edge" you will find that life has much more room in which to move around. And edge is not as scary as you might think. As you begin to try new things, new perspectives will open up and you will begin to see more possibilities and opportunities. You will meet people who are also stepping outside their comfort zone and who can be supportive in your journey. As your life begins to open and flow, you will wonder how you ever stood living in middle. Falling Prey to Fear of Unknown Fear is a powerful emotion. It protects us and keeps us from doing dangerous things, yet it can also keep us from doing new and wonderful things. Most of us get a little nervous when we are not sure about what is around corner. Yet, sometimes getting our life unstuck takes a leap of faith and a strong belief that fear really does just stand for: False Evidence Appearing Real". Have you always dreamed about starting your own business, becoming a sculptor, or sailing around world? To give any chance to those dreams coming true you must face fears that are holding you back head on and put your trust in you and your dream. Will you be successful? Maybe yes, maybe no. But at least you have opened door to possibility of your dream coming true. If you let yourself get frozen by fear of negative things that might happen and never open that door, you will have no chance of realizing your dream and you will always be left with question of what could have been. Our lives, like rivers, will always experience a few log-jams. The issue is not whether we get stuck. The issue is how we get ourselves extricated from jam and get our lives flowing again. Becoming more aware of which behavior patterns are responsible for keeping us stuck is a great place to start that process.
Mary Ann Bailey, MC, is a life coach who works with people who are feeling stuck or out of sync in their lives. She specializes in helping professional women who are struggling with midlife career changes. Visit her website at: http://www.baileycoaching.com for free articles and resources that will help you get your life moving forward in the direction you want.
| | The 3 Key Components to Any Successful ChangeWritten by Mary Ann Bailey
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Lucy was committed to finding a way to try and help Kris see how her attitude was affecting her team and whole organization. After several less-than-satisfactory attempts at trying to solve problem herself, Lucy realized that she was not as skilled at having these kinds of conversations as she needed to be. At this point she had to decide whether or not she wanted to commit to strengthening her ability to have difficult conversations. Lucy knew she was capable of learning what was needed, and she was committed to seeing her problem through; so she decided to hire a consultant to help her address situation. STRUCTURE: The last element is structure. Structure is most important element in making change happen, but it is very often overlooked. Structure is what holds change process together. It refers to any resources you might need, such as Megan's exercise class or Lucy’s consultant. It also refers to systems needed to support you as you are working through your change. Structure provides safety net. It allows you to share burden of change with others, therefore lightening your load. It also helps ensure success, as a team effort is usually more successful than one person going it alone. Who do you call when you are feeling stuck, discouraged, or you want to quit? Who do you celebrate with when you are successful? Who will be there to prod you, encourage you and remind you how great you are and that what you are doing is wonderful? However, we often forget to put this piece into place and then we are left to face struggles by ourselves. We can become overwhelmed and give up feeling defeated and discouraged. Making sure you have a strong structure in place to support you through your change can keep this from happening. Although process of change is often described as difficult, it also can be an incredibly exciting journey. Change is source of energy that keeps us moving forward and allows us to discover new things about ourselves and our world. But, as with all journeys, better you prepare for it, smoother your trip will be. So, next time you are faced with a change, make sure you are clear about your commitment, realistic about your competence, and that you have taken time to create a solid structure to support you. I think you will be pleasantly surprised with end results.
Mary Ann Bailey, MC, is a life coach who specializes in helping professional women successfully navigate the challenges of midlife career transitions. Visit her website at http://www.baileycoaching.com to read more of her articles and to receive a free copy of "How to Make the Changes that Will Move Your Life Forward."
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