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For that reason you have to link your needs to their gains by negotiating - tell them they will get what they want IF you get what you want.
3 Say No When You Do Not Care About Outcome
When you are flexing this new found ability to say No for first time use every opportunity to get some practice e.g.
- In a restaurant, say no to first table you are offered - at home say No to coffee when everyone else says Yes, have tea - In a store say yes to an offer of help but No to product
What I mean is to say No when you are dealing with people whose approval is not that important to you. You will quickly learn through experience that it is not end of world if you say no and other person is not pleased with you.
4 Say No to Big Request and Yes to a Smaller One
Sometimes you are going to be asked to do more than your fair share. If you cannot avoid job you may need to consider doing part of it.
A good way to handle these requests is to offer to do part of job but not all of it. For example:
- I will clean 2 rooms if you do other 3 rooms - I can do 5 pages of report as long as you give me data - If you start project I will finish it
By standing up for yourself on small points you will gradually assert yourself more often on big issues. The main thing is to get started today on winning back control of your interactions with anyone who pushes you too far.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm