3. Gianni took a job as a fundraiser. He found out within first month he was expected to travel over a 400 mile radius regularly (which hadn’t been mentioned previously), and work most weekends as well as 40 hours at his desk. Gianni apologized to his wife, prepared his resume, and found a new job as soon as he could.

RULE NO. 3: YOU WILL HAVE A MINI-CRISIS AT HOME

Appliances know when you've taken a new job. j.k. But I hear an awful lot of stories about things falling apart at home when someone takes a new job. Why? Murphy's Law, I guess. And while I teach optimism, as part of Emotional Intelligence, I think it's just best to optimistically anticipate riding through some bumps at home during your first few weeks on a new job.

Be optimistic about YOUR ABILITY TO COPE, not about LIVING IN A PERFECT WORLD.

It's like when you're having houseguests for Thanksgiving, and whole extended family to your home for big dinner. Yes, your dishwasher, garbage disposal, washing machine or dryer, or heating system, or some or all of these things will break. It's happened to me so many times, I just laugh. It takes less energy than crying. In fact it bolsters your immune system to laugh. See Rule No. One.

THE KEY: MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL PREPARATION

Mental and emotional preparation are key to surviving adjustment. Understand that if you’re feeling stressed, your immune system will be under duress. Do what you can to bolster it - eat right, exercise, stay healthy, get enough sleep. And most of all, don't over-react to it.

Understand that reality of any situation rarely lives up to what was reported, or what your expectations were. Expect some things to be better than advertised, some worse, some same. Ride it out. Give it time before you form your final opinions. If it turns out to be a "draw" that's okay.

At home, get troops supporting you and new situation, and cut yourself some slack on home front. Enter job if you can, well-prepared as to home and car repairs and wardrobe. Then relax about these things for some weeks, while you cope with new job. Nothing short of real "emergencies" need immediate attention you may be used to giving them. Even a lawn can go 2-3 weeks without neighbors calling Lawn Patrol. You can buy your "groceries" at convenience store on corner a few times without busting budget. The spare bedroom will always be there to clean when you can get around to it.

Don't over-react, and even worse, don't clamp down.

When in a new situation, it's our "default" mode (if we're not mindful), to get rigid and want to apply order to chaos. Many new situations in life, such as a new job or a new baby, simply don't lend themselves to that. Don't waste energy and stress your immune system further by getting rigid. Be willing to let some things go for a while, and to take a second, longer look at some of things that surprise you you weren’t counting on.

The bottom line: Lose some battles in order to win war. It's all about life balance.

Just spend a few minutes and ask yourself:

Who do I spend my time with?

What kind of company am I keeping?

How many hours a day do I spend with TV?

Am I mixing with people who see themselves as victims?

Are these people going to make me into sort of person I want to be?

Are people with whom you spend your time, cynical, judgemental, blaming ?

The way forward. The way to get on correct path. Is to keep good company. Keep company of good people who make good choices. Someone who has conquered negativity, bitching, cynicism. Or at least someone who acknowledges that there is a different way and is making effort to change. Find someone who can:

Listen without blaming, Hear you without criticism, Keep you focussed when your focus slips, Remind you of your strengths when going gets tough Remind you why you are on this journey. Be just there for you.

The secret of getting ahead and staying there is to keep good company. If you want to be a better salesperson, mix with good sales people, if you want to be a good copywriter, mix with good copywriters. People judge us by company we keep. They infer that we are a certain way because of company we keep. Even though we may be different we are automatically ‘guilty’ by association. So if you want to achieve, if you want to change. If you want to succeed. Keep good company.

Graham and Julie www.desktop-meditation.com