3. Failure To Win Divorce Parenting Cooperation

If divorced parents can put aside their personal feelings before welfare of their children and choose to interact with one another in a respectful and dignified way, their children will benefit. Beat this kind of divorce parenting mistake. Learn to win your ex parenting cooperation.

Sure, you can have healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorced. Do act according to child's best interest, let go and forgive, and win parenting cooperation of your ex. Remember, how bad and well children go through divorce depends on how you handle situation. Never let your divorce ruin your children's life.

Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.

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I ended up working with both Wendy and Terence. Through working with Six Step Inner Bonding process that we teach, Wendy learned to attend to her abandonment feelings herself rather than go after Terence or her children when these feelings came up. She learned that she was being self responsible rather than selfish when she took responsibility for her own feelings of safety, worth, lovability, happiness and joy, rather than making Terence responsible for making her feel safe and worthy. She learned that when she embraced responsibility of listening to and taking responsibility for her own feelings, she no longer felt abandoned or angry.

Terence learned that he had another option other than compliance or resistance. He learned to take responsibility for his own feelings by telling Wendy his truth when she yelled at him or blamed him. Instead of being a victim, he learned to stand up for himself and set loving limits on how Wendy was treating him. He learned to say, “I don’t like being yelled at. I don’t want to be with you when you are yelling at me and blaming me for your feelings. If you can’t treat me with caring and respect, then I don’t want to talk with you or spend time with you. I don’t like being with you when you treat me this way.”

At first, Terence was reluctant to say these things to Wendy. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her his truth. He felt his truth was harsh and that he would be unloving if he said these things. However, when he was willing to take risk of speaking his truth, he found that Wendy was actually grateful to receive truth. Rather than getting angry and hurt, she appreciated his honesty, and told him that he was helping her to learn and grow by telling her his truth.

Terence ended up not leaving. Over a period of a year of doing their inner work, their relationship completely changed. In fact, he and Wendy have achieved a new level of love and intimacy in their relationship, beyond what they had when they first fell in love.