6. Appreciate your loved ones and show that you appreciate them. Too often we take those closest to us for granted. Small, loving, appreciative and regular actions and words enhances quality of our relationships. Don't wait until that person is gone - start now.

7. Sleep well. Like drinking water, a lot of us are sleep derived. If amount of sleep we got was our bank account, we'd be in red! So start making regular deposits. It may be difficult to get enough sleep if you have young children, a very active social life or work long hours, but aim for at least 3 nights per week. Learn how to nap and create spaces in day to do so. Create a ritual around getting to bed at a reasonable time. Regular good sleep improves your physical and mental well being.

8. Create an environment you love. Even if you don't like place you live in, small things like flowers and candles can really brighten your environment.

9. Do more of what you enjoy. Sometimes our lives are so crowded that we forget to make time to enjoy ourselves and wonder why we're lacking in energy! It can be as simple as listening to music, dancing (you can tell I like this one!) or a relaxing bath. Do more of what you enjoy with people you love being with. Life's too short not to!

10.When good things happen - appreciate them. You may write down your appreciation in form of a gratitude journal or just acknowledge it to yourself or share it with others, who'll be happy for you. Alternatively, if worries crop up during day and you don't feel able to talk about it to anyone - yet, then write it down, ask a question about how it can be resolved and sleep on it.

People pleasers’ focus is mostly on others and away from themselves. They often feel empty, or don’t know how they feel, what they think, or what they want for themselves. But it’s possible to change this pattern and to feel better about yourself.

There are many ways to reduce your tendency to please others. Here are some suggestions:

Practice saying NO. This is a very important word! Say it as often as you can, just to hear word come out of your mouth. Say it out loud when you are alone. Practice phrases with NO in them, such as, "No, I can’t do that" or "No, I don’t want to go there".Try it for simple things first, then build your way up to harder situations.

Stop saying YES. Try to pause or take a breath before responding to someone’s request. You may want to answer requests with "I need to think about it first, I’ll get back to you" or "Let me check my schedule and call you back". Use any phrase that you feel comfortable with that gives you time before you automatically respond with YES.

Take small breaks, even if you feel guilty. You won’t always feel guilty, but most likely in beginning you will.

Walk slowly; it’s part of slowing down your pace.

Discover what gives you pleasure, for example, reading magazines, watching videos, going to a park, and listening to music, and then give yourself permission to do those things.

Ask someone to help you with something. I know this is a hard one but you can do it!

Check in with how you feel and what you are thinking. It’s important to be aware of these things; they’re part of who you are. And then try saying what you feel and think more often. Many people pleasers believe that nobody will like them if they stop doing things for other people. If someone stops liking you because you don’t do what they ask, then you’re being used by them and probably don’t want them as a friend anyway. People will like you for who you are and not simply for what you do. You deserve to take time to yourself, to say NO, and to take care of yourself without feeling guilty. It’s within your reach to change - one small step at a time!

Kali Munro, © 2001 http://www.KaliMunro.com