Set aside some time for just two of you. If not once a week, then at least once a month. This should be quality, alone time, however you two choose to spend it. You might try arranging a specific day each week and take turns planning what you will do.

Discuss decisions that affect both of you and try to find a solution that will keep you both happy. Never make an important decision that affects you both without talking to your partner.

Don’t Lie! Everyone lies occasionally. It’s in our nature. This isn’t an excuse to lie to your partner. Every time you are caught in a lie, a little more trust is taken away. A healthy relationship requires trust. Never ever lie about things important to relationship. You’re better off facing music if you’ve done something wrong then being caught in a lie.

This won’t keep you together but it is important to mention. Know when it’s time to leave and make break. Don’t let anyone use you or abuse you. Most problems can be worked out if both people in relationship make an effort to improve things. There are some exceptions. It’s time to leave if relationship becomes abusive. Do not hope things will get better because he/she says they will change. Leave! If at some future time they actually do change, you can consider getting back together then. Another deal breaker is infidelity. If your partner cheats on you, there is a good chance that even if you do stay together, trust that keeps a relationship alive will be gone. I’m not saying you can’t survive it, but it will take a great deal of effort from both people and your partner will have to stop. Never give them more than one chance to do so or you will be setting yourself up for a very destructive emotional roller coaster. If your partner sees that it’s possible to cheat and you will keep forgiving, why would they change?

©2005 Patricia Fason

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