Continued from page 1
The caveat: You may sometimes experience extreme responses to this continuously changing being and possibility – you may feel
pace of change is impossible for you to keep up with, or you may feel paralyzed, unable to choose any action or outcome.
The essential message: You choose what’s possible to make what is – choosing changes both.
5.The story of possibility has two sides – risk and reward.
As you perceive and interpret what’s possible, you naturally find some actions and outcomes that appeal to you, some that repel you and some that move you neither one way nor other. Your affinity for a particular action or a particular outcome is a measure of risk or reward that that action or outcome holds for you. An action or outcome that repels you is a risk; an action or outcome that appeals to you is a reward. Actions and outcomes that move you neither one way nor other are less risky, and also less rewarding.
The caveat: Actions that appeal to you may have outcomes that repel you, and outcomes that appeal to you may require actions that repel you.
Another caveat: Many different paths may lead to a particular outcome, and a particular action may be a step on many paths.
The essential message: Risk and reward are two sides of same coin – choosing engages both. 6.Every choice is made over TEA.
Choosing takes time. Choosing takes energy. Choosing takes attention.
You consume a brew of your own time, energy and attention while perceiving situation before you. You consume more of your time, energy and attention while interpreting situation and your options. You consider impact of each scenario, weighing risks and rewards. You perceive some, you interpret some – back and forth – all while consuming more and more of your precious TEA.
You may consume only a sip or a cup of your TEA; you may consume a full pot or an entire plantation.
You may sip your TEA in solitude; or you may share it in quiet conversation with a trusted ally; or you may serve it freely at a party of your peers.
The caveat: Your time, energy and attention are limited resources, continuously consumed by necessary perceiving, interpreting, choosing and living.
Another caveat: When you share your TEA with others, you perceive their interpretations, and they perceive your interpretations.
The essential message: You put some time, energy and attention into every choice – big or small.
7.Perceiving is a divergent story.
Perceiving is a necessary part of choosing. Being first part, perceiving determines how long choosing process continues. You must perceive what is necessary and sufficient to complete choosing process, and yet you must interpret to know what is necessary and sufficient.
You delay choosing when you devote more time, energy and attention to perceiving what is and what’s possible, and less to interpreting what you think and what you feel.
The caveat: You must know when to stop perceiving and when to start or continue interpreting.
The essential message: You delay choosing when you focus on perceiving.
8.Interpreting is a convergent story.
Interpreting is a necessary part of choosing. Being last part, interpreting determines when choosing process ends.
You hasten choosing when you devote more time, energy and attention to interpreting what you think and what you feel, and less to perceiving what is and what’s possible.
The caveat: You must know when time is right for interpreting and when you need to continue perceiving.
The essential message: You hasten choosing when you focus on interpreting. 9.TEA and possibility.
The amount of your time, energy and attention that you devote to choosing naturally varies according to amounts of risk and reward that you perceive and interpret.
Some choices need only a modest serving of TEA – for example, you easily choose in favor of big reward, small risk options and confidently ignore small reward, big risk options.
You may naturally serve less TEA in consideration of small reward, small risk options. When neither risk nor reward moves you much one way or other, you may find yourself moving rhythmically in a kind of a trance dance.
You may often serve lots of TEA in consideration of big reward, big risk options. When reward is very appealing and risk, intimidating, you may find yourself rocking back and forth in a kind of approach and avoidance dance.
The key to serving proper TEA in company of possibility is to remember that you are responding to your own perception and to your own interpretation of risks and rewards that are meaningful for you.
The caveat: Your capacity for full and accurate perceiving determines how well you understand risks and rewards involved when you are choosing.
The essential message: You allot your time, energy and attention to choosing according to risk and reward that you perceive and interpret.
10.TEA for two.
You may find that much of your continuous choosing becomes that routine, everyday, little sips and cups of TEA kind of choosing.
You may create habits for most everyday choosing, such as what you eat, how you dress, where you go, who you see. For these things, you may consume less and less TEA perceiving what is and what’s possible, and interpreting what you think and what you feel. You may put yourself in low or no maintenance mode for many routine actions and outcomes.
You may find that a lot of your choosing is still that special occasion, bring out good china for TEA kind of choosing.
The frequency and quality of your special occasion choosing depends greatly on amount of TEA you have spared from everyday choosing.
The caveat: Choices that serve you well one day may not be suitable next.
Another caveat: “Big and scary” special occasion choices can seem bigger and scarier when you hardly ever entertain them.
The essential message: You cultivate habitual choosing to free up time, energy and attention for higher stakes choosing.
John is a personal and professional coach, and Director of Optionist (http://www.optionist.com), conducting research, and offering education and support, for understanding how we choose. John works as a professional consultant in public and private sector organizations in the US and Canada, developing and delivering effective educational and experiential workshops.
