7)He may openly flirt with other women and then accuse you of being jealous when you object.

8)He gets angry and loses his temper over trivialities. Stays angry for a long time and attempts to blame all arguments on you.

9)May hit walls when angry.

10)One of main factors is that he comes on very strong in beginning of your relationship - sweeps you off your feet - and wants an exclusive relationship too quickly. Many women feel flattered at intensity of man’s seeming need for an immediate connection and consequently overlook inappropriateness of it.

*This should not be confused with ‘love at first sight’ where one or both parties feel an instant connection - without any of aforementioned behaviors.*

There are many other factors that could be listed - but if man in your life begins displaying above qualities - realize it will not get better, only worse. He will likely be unwilling to discuss his emotions openly and feel that women are inferior sex.

If this describes your man, run - do not walk - out of his life. The next step will likely be physical abuse.

Kay doesn't fuel fire. Whenever Kay was in midst of a conflict that didn't involve her and that she didn't feel able to impact, she walked away. "No point messing with my joy when I don't have to!" No picnic. Make no mistake, dear reader. The environment here was not all joy and light. Kay was faced daily with death, and dying, with imminent amputations, sickness, and terminal illness. Joy was a choice. One she had to keep choosing every moment.

THE AWAKENING

After about 6 weeks after Kay decided to choose joy, people started coming to her with their problems and concerns. Kay didn't try to fix any of their problems. She listened hard and suggested things they could do to resolve or reduce them. She helped them find ways to make healthy choices like she was doing. "The next time you feel yourself about to blow up at someone, take a nice long deep breath, tell yourself that you're choosing joy today, and ask yourself, 'How can I do this differently?" Kay never took sides. When people came to her blaming others for their upsets. She just listened and made suggestions on how they could think or act differently. More and more people began dropping into Kay's office on a regular basis. "I don't want to sound conceited here, but it seemed like people wanted what I had...'joy.' I helped them choose it themselves. I kept telling them, 'Stop bickering. Remember to breath, then choose joy.' We even made a poster that said, 'Remember to breath.' People loved it." "The Director was one of worst attackers. Once I built a little more trust with her, she was in my office sharing her problems. One day I asked, 'Are your really getting what you want by yelling at everyone?' She finally was able to see that it simply brought down staff and modeled poor behavior for them." "She promised me one day to not yell for entire day and hasn't done so publicly for six weeks. She now takes issues with individuals privately into her office and handles them in a civil tone."

TODAY?

"Today things are about 60% better. I look forward to going to work. People are more pleasant. They still come in now and again, but atmosphere is good enough now to start real work of making this organization hum. People are now more solution-oriented rather than blame-oriented. Now that people don't have to be so concerned with defending themselves, there's more energy available to focus on solutions and processes that will make life better for everyone." KAY'S TIPS FOR CHANGE.

- New choices yield new results. Kay was amazed at how little effort can yield such a huge change. Choosing joy is simply a decision. I just decided that I'm here to have best day I can have and be as productive as I can be, and have joy in my heart. - Sometimes most positive thing you can do is to leave an organization. I've helped a couple people make decision to leave this place. If it takes too much from you over time, at some point, you have to realize you can't affect this place without losing your joy.

- Find your passion and choose mastery in your work 100% of time. Find a place for yourself that holds passion for you, a place that has space for your joy. - Be a steward of trust. You can have bad days, and you can be frustrated, but don't lash out at others, just own it and let people know what's going on with you so they don't take it personally. - Joy is not simply a smile on your face everyday. It doesn't necessarily equate to happiness, though it may lead there. It's being true to everyone, especially yourself. - Empower people to solve their problems and to make different, more effective choices. - Consciously model functional behavior. - Chose to lead yourself. Ask what you can do in your little piece of world. Develop options for yourself so your survival isn't at stake if you have to leave an organization. - Know that anyone taking on a new behavior in a system changes system.

About Author: Steve Davis, M.A., M.S., is an Facilitator's Coach, Infoprenuer, and free-lance human, helping facilitators, organizational leaders, educators, trainers, coaches and consultants present themselves confidently, access their creativity, empower their under-performing groups, enhance their facilitation skills, and build their business online and offline. Subscribe to his free weekly ezine at www.MasterFacilitatorJournal.com.