6. How optimistic is this person ?

Optimism is facilitator of all EQ competencies. In addition, optimists live longer, enjoy better health, and accomplish more.

7. Are they intentional?

Intentionality, an EQ competency, is saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Also being accountable for motives behind your actions. If you have commitment to relationship, i.e., nobody's going to go away, you'll work through problems differently.

8. How resilient are they?

How do they manage adverse events and setbacks? Have they been able to grow through adversity, not just go through it?

9. How do you and your partner manage anger?

Successful couples soothe one another instead of agitating and escalating.

10. How balanced is their life?

Resilient people combine learning, work and leisure throughout their lifetime.

©Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach. Take The EQ Foundation Course©, and start learning today. www.susandunn.cc/courses.htm and mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine.

Maybe this isn’t about your story. Maybe you are merely a supporting character in someone else’s story. What gifts can you bring to situation?

Be aware of who you are being in response to what is happening. Are you fearful, angry, vengeful, or depressed? Are you distant, supportive, loving, or helpful? Ask yourself. "Is this who I am?" and "Is this who I choose to be?" Maybe you do choose to be angry, fearful, or depressed for a time, but keep it short. Consciously realize you are being as you are, and when you’ve had enough of that state then choose another state of being that is more representative of your highest self.

Recognize that Universe brings you circumstances you consciously or subconsciously call forth. Do these circumstances allow you to continue story that describes who you think you are? Or do these circumstances give you a frame of reference so you can experience bravery, joy, insight, or love? There are no coincidences--no bad luck.

This moment is just blink of an eye in infinite life of our souls. Live within present moment while simultaneously watching it from a distance as an impartial observer. Experience present moment and grow with it by conscious choice.