And ironically more we worry about it, more tense we get and more likely we are to say something stupid.

Let us a take a look at some remedies:

1 Learn to relax when you feel under pressure.

I often talk about importance of managing your emotions

This is an essential skill.

There are a wide range of courses and books that you can refer to if you want to learn more about relaxation.

When you feel relaxed it is easier to think on your feet and to be flexible when you need to be.

2 Prepare Yourself

Before a social gathering get ready to have something to talk about.

With internet on your PC there is no excuse for not becoming well informed about world. The more knowledge you have more conversations you can contribute to.

Make a point though of reading up on a variety of subjects otherwise your conversation topics will be limited to what interests you most. And those topics may not interest your friends as much.

3 Become genuinely interested in other people

One of big secrets to conversation power is to shut up! We are all a lot more interested in ourselves than in anyone else.

And you failed miserably when you went out into real world.

Let me tell you why and what you need to do instead. But first a story that illustrates my point...

A few years ago I moved into a very well paid position in company where I worked. And in my new job I was dealing with company directors, business owners and senior executives -- face to face.

And to make it all even more challenging I would meet them on their territory - in their offices.

Teachers of pacing and leading would tell me to pace these executives and then to gradually lead them.

However this is 21st century where everything happens at warp speed. You need to take charge of social interactions within first 5 seconds or its all over.

First impressions do count.

This applies in business and in your social life. If you hesitate, wait and even... pace and lead game will be over before you know what has happened.

Here is what you need to do:

1 Take Great Care of Yourself.

Get enough sleep, eat well and take exercise that makes you feel good on a regular basis.

Neglect your body and your emotional state will slide too.

And before you know it you will not have energy to rise to occasion.

Having tons of energy is absolutely crucial if you want to excel. When you feel fantastic it gets easier and easier to be at your very best whenever you choose to be.

2 Lead and then Pace!

Instead of pacing and leading do this...

Get yourself into a great emotional state FIRST. The other person will then follow your lead.

The more energetic you are, happier you are and more confident you are --- easier it is to lead other person.