Over past decade, I've worked with thousands of individuals seeking ways to improve their ability to attract their ideal mate. As a result, I've created a list of ten most commonly prescribed personal development steps I recommend for those wanting to attract and create their ideal relationship. Last week I shared first half of list. Today, we will round out list with last five personal development steps.
Fortunately or unfortunately, second half of this list is much more difficult to accomplish than first. Because of this challenge, you may be tempted to dismiss these steps as impossible, or even irrelevant. I urge you not to. In taking these steps is answer to one question I get from every single person I interact with: "How do I attract kind of partner I am looking for?"
To review, below are first five steps. For details on these steps, please read last week's newsletter at http://www.whatittakes.com/Archive/Newsletter40to49/newsletter__46.shtml
1. Get complete with your past to break relationship patterns. 2. Ask for what you want in any relationship. 3. The more you want a relationship, have a laundry list, a timetable for when it should occur, less likely you are to have it. 4. Don't try to change yourself to "fit" into a relationship. 5. Assess communication in your relationships.
Here is second half of my top ten most popular relationship recommendations:
6. One key to recognizing when you've made a poor choice in a partner is when other person seems to adore you from start.
If a new relationship revolves around you, you need to know this is more about other person's need to be connected to "someone" than it is about connecting with you personally.
A relationship such as this will cool off within a short period of time. You will be left feeling urge to chase person to continue to get same amount of attention.
Take it very slow in beginning of any relationship, even if your new partner is pushing to speed it up. Only relationships built slowly withstand test of time.
7. Choose how to create a relationship.
Relationship choices are based on our parents' or care-givers' relationships or lack thereof. If their relationship did not work well, we are stuck with their painful relationship patterns. The only way out is to clearly understand how their relationships influenced our relationship choices and behaviors. We need to consciously choose what works for us and what doesn't.
Look at your parents' or care-givers' relationships to see how they parallel your relationship history. Then make a conscious choice about how you want to create your relationships, which beliefs and behaviors you want to leave behind and which you want to keep.