What happens if you were Cathy’s supervisor?

Let’s continue. You're cooking dinner, starting to unstress, food preparation timing is coming together-- for once, and your mother calls: "Could we talk, it’s important, I need someone to talk to?" What do you say?

What we would like to say and what we end up doing is usually two different things. Good news, tactfully saying no is a learned skill. It requires know-how and practice. Let’s get into ten how-tos and alternatives to help you practice.

Tip 1: There are three parts to meshing a "no but not no" response. The first part acknowledges and empathizes. The second part is a situation statement. And third part is an action statement.

An example of an empathy statement: "Sam, I'm sure this problem is important."

Now let’s add a situation statement: "I'm working on a report that I promised to finish within next hour."

The third, an action statement, needs to describe what you will do or offer as an alternative: "Let’s get together this afternoon at 2 PM. I'll meet you in your office."

You have just said no, without saying no.

Tip 2: What if its your supervisor interrupting you? What do you do? Here’s how to mesh three parts.

Sandy, your supervisor enters, "Lisa, I hate to interrupt you, but we have a real problem in field, I need to talk with you right away. Could I see you in my office?"

First, acknowledgment statement: "Sandy, I'm sure this is an important problem." Second, situation segment: "I'm working on that report you requested by noon." Third, adding action: "Would you like me to defer report until 2 PM [its imperative to offer an exact time] so we can meet now? Or would you like me to complete this and then come to your office?" This response allows your supervisor to see your perspective, situation, and make a decision.

Tip 3: Discouraging professional interrupters. These professionals make a career out of interrupting. They start talking and don't stop. They go on and on and when they finally stop to catch a breath, and you get to say something, they interrupt a few minutes later. How do you handle these?

Movement is key. If cornered behind your desk, stand up, and move. If standing up, move away. If sitting down, stand up. You can change momentum by dropping something, or turning sideways. Reach for something that has nothing to do with conversation, or excuse you to restroom.

Interrupt in same manner use with you. Go ahead, they do it because it appears normal to them. Here are a few template statements: "Where is this leading?" "What’s your point, I've gotten lost in what I think is trivia?"

It’s important to practice patience. These professionals don't usually hear you first few times. Become a broken record if need be. Identify what it is about their communication style or interruption process that annoys you. Provide your feedback and your preferred method.

THE POWER TO CHOOSE Dr Kem Thompson

I remember day I decided to become extremely successful. It was in my penultimate year in medical school. Up until that time I'd been passing my exams, just sailing along, not putting in much effort and not getting much out as a result. The funny thing (funny wierd, that is, not 'funny - ha ha') was that without realizing it, that same mediocre mindset had permeated other aspects of my life. I felt deeply dissatisfied and wasn't enjoying myself. I was also in habit of blaming others or external circumstances when thing things didn't go my way.

One day I just felt fed up. I realized I didn't want to go on living like this. I knew I was capable of doing better than I was doing. It dawned on me that it was my life in question here - nobody could live it for me. Nobody could achieve results I desired but me. And right then one of results I wanted was to excel in my studies. I wanted to be best medical student that school had come across. I realized it was up to me to make that happen. Not my parents, not my friends, not even my lecturers.

So on that day I 'took my life in my hands' and said in essence, "from this day on I will do what I need to do in order to excel in med. school. I will operate in 'Excel Mode' from now on in every aspect of my life. I'm tired of being mediocre. I will excel. I choose to be extremely successful".

Making a conscious decision to change was enough to get me all fired up. My attitude and actions changed during classes too: I asked more questions, answered more, took more chances to learn things and so on.

To cut a long story short, that day was beginning of my experience of 'The Universal Principles of Success' (see chapter 2 of book: www.daysofsuccess.com/successbk.htm). I coined that phrase after my experience, without knowing that there was a body of knowledge already existing, about same sort of information. Truly, there is one Universal Mind at work. But more on that later.

I passed my finals with distinctions in every subject. I won several awards for being best student in each subject and then won a special award for being overall best graduating medical student for year 1997.

That experience opened my eyes to power we each have to choose which way our life goes. I hope it opens your eyes too. You have so much potential in you right now, mostly lying dormant. You can literally become and do anything you want - you simply need to choose to do so and then go for it.

You've got what it takes to be best in your field, or best you can be. I tell you, there is more than enough room at top for you when you choose to excel.