100 Ways to Connect With Your TeenWritten by Dr. Debra Hapenny Ciavola
100 Ways to Connect with your Teens1.View adolescence as an adventure. 2.Respect their privacy. 3.Create family times around activities they enjoy. 4.Keep delicate balance between holding on and letting go. 5.Understand nature of adolescent beast. 6.Take advantage of an unexpected connection. 7.Bite your tongue. 8.Don’t take their chaotic behavior or mood swings personally. 9.Help them discover their spirituality. 10.Catch them doing something right and praise them. 11.Influence your teens’ decision making, but don’t say “I forbid.” 12.Give privileges with age and responsibility. 13.Be their mentor and ally. 14.Guide them, not manage them. 15.Be clear about expectations and consequences for not meeting those expectations. 16.Be your teen’s advocate. 17.Show true interest in their activities. 18.Expect miracles. 19.Be their parent. Teens do want rules, limits, and questions from you. 20.If your can’t police, monitor or enforce a rule, don’t have it. 21.Watch little rules that poison relationships. 22.Spend time alone with your teen. 23.Ask open ended question, such as “What are you learning in your history class?” 24.Encourage them to talk it out. 25.Actively supervise your teen’s exposure to media violence. 26.Acknowledge your teen’s fears, even if you do not agree with them. 27.Control your own behavior. 28.Talk about gangs and cliques. 29.Allow them safe and healthy outlets for their energy. 30.Use “I” statements rather than “You”. 31.Enforce important stuff, not little stuff. 32.Seek to understand what your teen is really saying rather than reacting. 33.Share something personal that relates to your years as a teen. 34.Avoid giving unwanted advice. 35.Discuss personal matters on sex and fears. 36.Give your teen impression that you trust them to do what is right. 37.Listen patiently to your teen’s reasons for wanting to do something. 38.Connect with your teen. Reflect on your adolescence. 39.Avoid lecturing. 40.Be someone they can believe in. 41.Make your home a place where teens want to hang out. 42.Talk less about media and more about real heroes in our country. 43.Make a list of ten things you like about your teen and tell them. 44.Teach them how to be compassionate, empathetic, and fair. 45.Show compassion to other teenagers. 46.Keep your face relaxed when they are telling you something you don’t want to hear. 47.Talk about drinking and its consequences. Make your expectations known. 48.Help them establish their own autonomy while maintaining a loving relationship with you. 49.Support your teen’s interests and encourage in their accomplishments. 50.Have regular family meetings in which whole family talks things over and makes decisions together. 51.Ask what worries them most about their future.
| | Valentines Gifts from the HeartWritten by Rondi Hillstrom Davis and Janell Sewall Oakes
Word Count: 461 Copyright 2004 Nine Twenty Press URL: One of my fondest childhood memories is of my mother helping me make a Valentine's box to take to school. We pulled out white paste, an old shoebox, scraps of doilies, and construction paper. There was a flurry of activity as I cut and pasted, and imagined my box filled with homemade Valentines from classmates and secret admirers. My favorite teacher in fourth grade was Mrs. Dearing. For Valentine's Day, I wanted to make her something special. My mother had a recipe for sugar cookies that she had made as a child. We stayed up late rolling out dough, long after my brothers had gone to bed. Carefully, we sprinkled cookies with sugar and waited for sparkling wafers to emerge from oven. To this day, when I smell sugar cookies baking, I think about Valentine's Day and that special present for my teacher. SUGAR COOKIES Ingredients 1/2-cup unsalted butter at room temperature 3/4-cup sugar 1 large egg 1 Tablespoon milk 1/8-teaspoon salt 1/2-teaspoon vanilla 2-cups flour Granulated sugar for decoration 1 ceramic cookie mold (available at craft stores or from www.cookieartexchange.com ) A plastic drinking straw 1/4 inch satin ribbon Directions 1. In a medium sized mixing bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Stir in egg, milk, and vanilla. Mix in flour and salt. 2. Knead mixture into a dough. Chill for 15 minutes. 3. Use ceramic cookie mold make a fancy Valentine cookie. Coat mold with cooking spray. Pour a little granulated sugar into mold, tilt until sugar covers bottom, and tap out any excess. Press dough into mold and turn it out onto a greased baking sheet. Use a plastic drinking straw to make a hole in top of cookie. Sprinkle with sugar and chill for 30 minutes.
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