“How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll" Article 1 of 5Written by Murray Hughes
Subtitle – A Troll? What **** is that and why should I give a hoot?
First, let’s get clear on our terms.
For purpose of this article, “Troll” has two meanings.
1.The traditional online meaning (if there is such a thing) is someone who posts messages to a forum or chatroom just to stir up a fight, or to bait someone.
For example, you could have some 15-year-old straight boy teenager and his friends respond to your online personal profile just because they want to lure you in then bash you, either verbally or— heavens forbid — in person.
2.The gay man’s term, “troll,” also has a very specific meaning. It applies to undesirable, ugly men who have little or no social skills and thus, don’t take ‘no’ for an answer.
And before you decide “Well I’m a lesbian, so that counts me out” let me tell you something:
Lesbians are a ‘target’ of trolls.
Some thuggish types get their jollies by harassing lesbians or even try to set up dates because they think lesbians are actually porn-stars who go both ways – You think I’m joking? Think again!
In either case, if a troll responds to your online personal
profile, it is imperative you are able to detect him and break off communication immediately. In some cases your well-being may depend on it.
Put up your hand if you have ever had a gay friend ‘homo- bashed’.
My hand is up.
Is Your Baggage Holding You Back?Written by Linda Reeves
Here you are single again and ready to re-enter big scary world of dating, and like most everyone, you bring along “baggage”. We all have it; some more than others, however, now is time to analyze necessity of that baggage in your new life. No one is exempt. You may have childhood angst over paternal divorce, conflicts with friends and family, or remorse over missteps and lost opportunities. Everyone has a history and an emotional response to it. What matters, when it comes to being a healthy, thriving human being, is whether or not you have deliberately unpacked your baggage.
As you delve into this new world, think about your life and events that put you back into dating world. Maybe it was divorce, a death or end of a relationship, all very traumatic events in our lives, but if you are ready to move on with your life, you must put aside unnecessary “baggage”. Deal with your grief from whatever situation and prepare your mind and heart to accept love and happiness again.
Keep in mind that although someone might say to you “tell me what happened”, guess what? They really do not want to know your life history, simple and to point is enough information. People are generally nice regardless of what you say and yes, it can keep conversation flowing, but keep in mind more you say about “baggage”, you are not creating any sympathy, but merely bringing feelings back to surface. If wounds have not completely healed, take steps to resolve issues that cripple you emotionally and move into a happy and emotionally well-balanced life. This can be approached in various degrees. While we all have our own way of dealing with our emotional baggage, sometimes it is more than one can bear on their own. Seek out counsel of your family, clergy or a counselor to help you confront and deal with issues that are holding you back. By all means to do not sink into seclusion, come out of darkness, join a health club, take a yoga class and never forget power of prayer. Expose issues; sometimes in order to get beyond your past, you sometimes need to get into your past, what went wrong, why did it happen, explore what you are feeling, is it anger, resentment or just simply a broken heart?